The other night I went and saw Jurassic Park 3D at the theaters. As long as you’re not living under a rock in Amish Country, I’m sure you are aware that this movie originally came out in 1993. Now the studio gets to wheel it on back into the pits, spruce it up and get another crack at raking in the money. Not just another crack at the box office, but another at selling DVDs and I’m sure there is a big spike in merchandising simply due to the increased publicity. This must be a gold mine for movie studios. So it begs the question, why not do it more often?

Jurassic Park was the second remade in 3D movie that I have been to see. A couple of years ago I went and saw The Lion King in 3D and thoroughly enjoyed it. However, that time I was going in completely fresh as I had never actually seen The Lion King previously. Of course I had heard of it and seen snippets here and there, but I had never sat down and actually watched the movie. My girlfriend at the time told me that she hadn’t really felt that they did that much 3D wise with it. Jurassic Park though I had certainly seen when it came out in the theaters as well as many times since. I can tell you that they did a lot with the 3D and it was really quite enhancing of the film.

I’m also though just a huge fan of seeing movies on the big screen. I would’ve gone and seen Jurassic Park at the theater without the 3D. If its a movie that I’m a big fan of I have no problem paying $10 to enjoy it in the theater atmosphere on a large screen. I’m just that much a fan of the cinema. I wish they would do it more often. I constantly am on the lookout for the occasional times that it is done, such as earlier this year in honor of Quentin Tarantino when they put Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs playing in theaters one day a piece. I often wished that I could open a theater that just played old movies and cater to a cinema crowd. Of course this would most likely only be cost effective in a major city, but then you have increased price of theater space. One of these days I’d love to crunch the numbers. Although I figure it will probably come out to be a losing proposition because I’m sure people are doing this or have done it in the past. Maybe someday when I had a ton of money and just wanted a cool project with the goal to break even.

I also speculated that these 3D conversions must be a huge cash bonanza for the studios, yet they don’t seem to be done that often. According to an article in Variety, the 3D version cost Universal Studios $10 million dollars to do. Steven Spielberg is said to have been heavily involved in the process and they had a team of 700 people working on the project for a period of 9 months. According to www.boxofficemojo.com, so far the film has taken in $38.8 million at the box office, including 18.6 on opening week. Lion King 3D is said to be the highest opening weekend grossing 3D conversation film at $30 million. That sounds like quite a chunk of profit on the box office alone. Not to mention the fact that I’m sure merchandise sales have spiked and they can sell 3D DVDs at some point for the small lucky contingent that have those televisions at home. One must also consider the fact that Jurassic Park 4 is coming out in 3D next summer, so this release can be seen as a bit of a marketing push for that film as well. It seems to me that the 3D conversation thing is just a no-brainier for studios. It’s kind of like the protection plans on electronics at stores, it’s just profit gravy you’re pouring all over the product.

Yet the studios don’t seem to do this very often. The only ones I remember that I haven’t mentioned are the Star Wars films and Titanic. If there is so much profit to be made here, why not do it with more films. I know I would love to see Natural Born Killers in 3D, or how about Terminator 2? I speculate that perhaps the movie studios know that they have this great ploy under their sleeves and don’t want to get the public sick of it with over-saturation, yet they are treading very lightly. I also doubt that there is such a pact existing between all these studios to not at least each be pushing out a few of their own. So perhaps it’s a more difficult process then I am giving it credit for. How many companies are out there that can handle this sort of technological endeavor. I know of course that a company such as Digital Domain locally that was a pioneer in these types of endeavors, even went bankrupt while being a pioneer. It seems to me like the movie studios should be all over this.

I look forward to and expect to see a whole lot more of this happening in the future. Just in box office alone Jurassic Park has quadrupled it’s budget on the 3D conversation, that is considered a success in any type of industry and project. These 3D conversions have to be only getting better over time too. I know James Cameron originally wasn’t a big fan of converting to 3D, but he did it with Titanic and was extremely pleased with the results. From my experience the 3D aspect of Jurassic Park was vastly superior to the 3D aspect of The Lion King. It looks like the technology is getting better and better. I’ll be waiting for many more to come out in the theaters to keep my ass in those seats. Are the days of non disposable bring your own 3D glasses too far off. I know I’d love a sleek pair.

On Saturday night I went and saw The Place Beyond the Pines and it was tremendous. The whole movie was excellent and if you have a chance you must go see it. I’m talking Oscar best picture nomination so definitely go see it ASAP. Not right this second of course please read on, after you finish reading feel free. What I was really blown away by in the film was Ryan Gosling’s performance, he is tremendous in this movie. I hope he will be considered for best actor, but he might not be eligible for a reason that I don’t want to spoil for anyone.

Yet Ryan Gosling has now cemented himself in the short list of my favorite actors. Is was quite difficult for him to accomplish this as I at first wanted to hate him. He had a much steeper climb to make then Denzel Washington for instance. The problem that I had with Ryan Gosling was that I thought chicks dug him too much. Yes, the pretty boy backlash kept me decidedly anti-Gosling for quite awhile.

I remember one girl that I was dating was especially fond of him. We were laying in bed one time, I was perfectly clear headed she of course was high as a kite as was often the case; and she brought up an interesting topic. She asked that if I could have a clear pass to cheat with anybody I wanted, who would it be? I thought about it for a minute then said I had made my decision but she had to go first since it was her idea. She went with Ryan Gosling calling him “dreamy”. I then decided to go with her friend Kelsey from work. Which of course caused a big fight for some unknown reason as it was a perfectly fair choice under the guidelines.

My contempt for Ryan was simply due to this event and I think a couple more that happened right along the same time. I swear that there was a month where all I heard was how hot Ryan Gosling was everywhere I went. Made me hate the guy, and I hadn’t really even seen much of his work. I had seen Remember the Titans of course, but his role in that was nothing really big. The Believer I missed, no The Slaughter Rule, no Murder by Numbers oddly enough for it sounds quite interesting, and of course that brings us to The Notebook. Now I believe this was the movie that every girl seems to adore him for. To this day I have still never seen the film, although I have claimed to have seen it in the past only to give my distaste more of a leg to stand on. The Notebook had come to be the embodiment of the chick flick that I loved to hate. In this book I read Herbert Spencer says something about “contempt prior to investigation” being the greatest human fallacy, and I’m guilty as charged. I hated this movie and Ryan Gosling just based on ideological heresy that had been created in my own crazy brain.

Maybe I’ll give The Notebook a chance one day, but that day is not going to be today. I still have some of the Gosling catalog that I missed to get through first. I have Half Nelson and Lars and the Real Girl, first up on my Netflix queue. The truth be told the guy is just a tremendous actor. The first movie that started my sway was Drive. I loved that film and his performance was the driving force, pun intended, of the film. I still want that jacket from the movie so bad and it is available here for anyone that wants to get it for me as a gift. I’ll take any pictures you want in it. Just the jacket for you ladies. The Place Beyond the Pines really though was the one that got me fully aboard. He’s got a toughness about him, but at the same time that inner quietness and seriousness that makes him so compelling. The character in Pines is a little more outgoing then his character in Drive, but they are cut from a little bit of the same mold. Behind the toughness is a sense of vulnerability and flaws that make him so real. Realness is always the most compelling thing in any character portrayal.

The good and amazing thing is that I think we’ve just scratched the surface of the type of performances that this guy is capable of. It seems like he is working within the scope of the material rather than have the material work for him. I’m anxiously awaiting when a director really lets him cut it loose and go for broke. It was an uphill climb into the esteemed upper echelon of the Frank Fitton acting hierarchy for you Mr. Gosling, but welcome and I hope you have a long and meaningful stay. Just if your going to be in my girl’s dreams, just do me the favor of either keeping it in your pants or at least not outdoing me. I gotta make a living here.

As my faithful readers and life compatriots know I was working inside a major retailer selling cellular phones. I say was, because as of last week they determined that my services were no longer needed there. Yes, I got fired. For the first time in my life I would say unjustifiably. Sure, I had been fired before but they were all in some way alcohol or drug related. I wouldn’t have missed work if I hadn’t been drunk for days and couldn’t get there, or I wouldn’t have gotten into that fistfight with the customer if I hadn’t been up doing blow for days. All of those were justifiable. I figured once I stopped drinking and doing drugs, I would now be the model employee. Apparently, my opinions differ from those in power.

Since I have no reason to be vague anymore, I will let you know that I was working for a company named Wireless Advocates which is a 3rd party vendor that operates in Costco. They are in every Costco in the country, as well as Army and Air Force base stores. We sold Verizon, AT&T, and T-Mobile there, with a carrier agnostic approach which really let you have the best interests of the customer in mind. My store sold 60% Verizon, which was fine with me because they are certainly the #1 overall carrier these days in the wireless game. The others have their advantages as well, and if one of those suits you best we could help you there too. If you’re pissed at a carrier, that’s fine with us too cause we can move you to one of the others. Working with them had been an enjoyable experience and I certainly didn’t have any desire to leave there at least until I finished up at Florida Atlantic University. Things there weren’t perfect. Some of the company’s policies were dumb, and our pricing wasn’t as great as it had been when I first started. Overall though, I was perfectly content. I did get a bit jealous of the Costco employees though as through interaction with them all the time you see how marvelously that company treats their employees. Yet in my 2 years there I had been pretty successful and was consistently in the top 10 in sales in the district. I even was awarded the Coin of Excellence from Verizon Wireless for the month of December 2012. I made alright money for my needs and liked the people I worked with.

On the day of April 3, 2013 I walked into work for my 12:30 – Closing shift and noticed that the District Manager and the manager from our Boca Raton location were there. I didn’t really think anything of it as she stops by sometimes. His being there in hindsight was odd, but the thought that I was going to be fired never crossed my mind. As soon as I got there I started dealing with customers. I had a sale as well as quite a few people that had bought phones from me previously stop by. Everything was going fine. The new line AT&T I did was a little complicated with the porting and took some time, but I was nothing but smiles and feeling good about myself. When they called me over the thought that crossed my mind was this was going to be a motivational speech about how since we are understaffed until our new hires are processed, they really need me to stay strong and keep the store pushing forward. We had been left short staffed by one employee getting an internship more suited to his career, and another leaving for a worse job. We were trying to hire new people and finally got one approved after one missed his drug test and another failed the background check. My manager and I had each been working 1 or 2 open to close no help shifts for the past couple weeks.

The conversation went nothing like I had expected. It was short and sweet. The district manager told me that it had come to her attention through somebody else that I had said something disparaging about my boss on my personal Twitter account on March 4th and for that reason I was being terminated, effective immediately. My jaw just basically dropped and I started to plead my case. She cut me off immediately and said it was done, HR had made their decision and considered it “insubordination” and the decision was final. My boss stood there with his head down and didn’t say a single word. I was told to get any belongings out of the store and that was that. I grabbed what I had and walked away in a state of shock. I kinda just aimlessly walked to the front of the building, some Costco employees asked me some questions as I walked up and I told them I just got fired, they thought it was a joke. “April Fools was the other day man” one of them said. It was at this point that I realized they were going to cut off my awesome Verizon dealer line phone, unlimited data and hotspot for basically pennies, so I had to do something to not lose my number. I actually had to go back there and buy a phone now so I could port the number out. This was a little uncomfortable but I just sat there quietly and smiled. I got T-Mobile and a Galaxy S3, because I needed unlimited data. I also had to get it at Costco, because I would like to possibly exchange it for the S4 when it comes out and Costco has an amazing 90 day exchange policy. So yes, I bought a phone from the same people that fired me 15 min before.

The tweet that caused all this was from March 4th and reads “My boss acts like such an asshole via text on his days off, I think he drinks heavily”. It was in response to him berating me over text about the AT&T login passwords not working and my efforts to rectify the situation. I placed all the necessary calls to people in charge, which is all I could do and the situation was rectified within an hour. I had felt his manner of talking to me about this was so out of character at the time, that I took screenshots of the texts in question which I still have, although I have not shown them to anyone. The tweet was just my way of half jokingly venting about the situation and was very therapeutic as it helped me forget about the situation and move on with my sales day greeting customers. Its as if saying it on Twitter gets the emotion out and then you can move on with your day instead of being mad and letting it effect interactions. Tweeting it releases the emotion. I even remember thinking a good response from him would be “I don’t drink heavily, I’m just from Montana”. As someone that is in recovery, maybe I think too lightly of saying things in regards to drinking and drugging. For me it doesn’t carry the intense negative connotations that some might give it. I really didn’t think anything of it at the time, it never crossed my mind that I would get fired if someone saw it.

I should also mention that my Twitter account does say my real name on it, it’s @GatorFrank if anyone wants to follow me. It does not however identify me as an employee of Wireless Advocates, merely as “Gator, Writer, Renaissance Man”. I do though talk about work stuff, and I do check in at Wireless Advocates quite a bit, so it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to put it together.

Since the firing I’ve tried to pursue it a little bit. I called corporate HR in Washington state, and they did eventually return my call. Yet they said they had nothing to do with it and it was all the DM’s decision. She of course claimed it was an HR decision. They both they agreed that it was already final and nothing could be done. They also both were in agreement on suggesting that I call the other one to get clarification on the decision; corporate buck passing at its finest. My boss for his part claims he had nothing to do with it. He says he had no idea that I was getting fired before that day.

The part that I would like to know is exactly how the District Manager came to find out about the tweet. It was implied that somebody had alerted her to it and then she had investigated it. In the cellular industry its all about numbers, well not all as they did fire me even though I had good numbers, and there is quite a bit of competition. Your ranking in the district and company is always accessible and like a leader-board you want to get up it as much as possible. I think that someone from another store, wanted me off that leader-board to make themselves look better. Competition is supposed to be healthy and I use it to drive myself, I would never go as far as to sabotage another person. Yet I don’t think everyone operates on the same morals of clean competition that I do. Athletics has breed that in me, although straight business people take a much more Machiavellian approach. I have my suspects.

Lesson has been learned though. Your personal accounts can be accessible to people that want to tear you down if you do not safeguard them. In hindsight, sure I wouldn’t have said what I said but I think these consequences took things a little too far. I want to wave my first amendment flag mighty and high, but I don’t know what good it will do. All I can do is go back out there and get a better job now. If some big first amendment proponent wants to throw me a job, that would be fantastic as well. My advice to others is that if you want to rant about your job, do it on another anonymous Twitter account. I could have used my @DrunkGalaxyS3 twitter account for this and nothing would have happened. The anonymous account can be even more freeing as there are really no bounds at all that you can not cross.

I think that Wireless Advocates could have gotten their point across with a simple stern warning. I would have learned this same lesson and it would have never happened again. I also think that perhaps if I hadn’t been working open to close that day with no break this also might not have happened. Hunger and exhaustion can certainly cause lapses in judgement. In the end though, they made the call. Apparently in some states there might be something I can do, but in Florida I hear they can fire you for any reason they want. I really wish I could make enough money off this blog to just do it and go to school but that will probably never happen. Who knows though, click an ad for your poor unemployed martyr while your here, haha.

Any comments would be appreciated, do you think this was justified? Am I way off? Got a job for me?

The wireless phone industry is a very odd one in many aspects. It has grown leaps and bounds in the last few decades since its inception. Originally phones were only for the elite or high level business people. They were expensive big and bulky. Then they started to evolve slowly into mainstream lives as they shrunk in size. The phone went from a business luxury, to an in case of emergency, and has finally ingratiated into our lives as a necessity. If I was given the choice of going for a week without my smartphone or without my left arm, I’m pretty dam sure that I would let them have my left arm. Now my right arm would win out over the phone, but my left isn’t really use in as much essential do or die functions as my smartphone is.

As some of you know I do sell wireless phones to make a living currently while also attending school down at Florida Atlantic. I sell phones for Verizon, AT&T, and -Mobile for one of the largest indirect agents within one of the largest retailers in the country. I am also very much into phones and consider myself very tech savvy. I think I can easily say that I’m the most tech savvy and up on phone technology person working in the district for my company. I read a lot of blogs, DroidDog DroidLife and Gizmodo are my faves, when I’m not at work and just generally keep up on the comings and goings in the industry. I also consider myself a very unique and outside of the box type of person. One of the worst insults you could hurl at me would be to call me mainstream. I generally hate the summer blockbuster action movies as well as the majority of what passes for top 40 music these days. Sometimes I like to just throw out some obscure band or writer that you’ve never heard just cause it sounds cooler. I’m a fan of Stephen King, but that just doesn’t sound cool or impress anyone.

A thing that I’ve noticed about the wireless industry however is that the best phones also tend to be the most popular ones. That is unlike pretty much any industry around. The Galaxy S3 when it came out was the best phone specs wise, it then went on to be the best selling phone ever. When the IPhone 3GS came out it was the best phone out there and it also became the best selling phone. No other industry does this. The #1 selling car of 2012 was the Toyota Camry. No one is under the impression that the Toyota Camry is the best car out there specs wise and performance wise. You aren’t buying that car to have the best, your buying it because it makes economical sense and is sufficient for your needs. Even in a similar industry such as computers this is not the case, the top selling laptop isn’t a top of the line specs wise laptop. There are always high performance ones out there that don’t sell very well because the average person does not need something that performs to that level. They have super powerful computers and super high performance cars that are made for expensive and for people that are why into that sort of thing.

Why not have something like this for phones? How out of the world specs wise and price wise would a phone have to be to shy away the average person from their desire for it? As a tech savvy phone expert I don’t want to have the same phone as your grandmother does. Yet that’s what it comes too. I sell Galaxy S3′s everyday to little old ladies that just want a great phone. They see the ads on TV, that’s what they want and they come in you show them how cool it is and they walk out with it. The best phone out there is also the most popular phone. Shouldn’t there be something high end though that doesn’t sell as much. A super high powered phone for gamers like those Alienware computers. Where is the high priced Ferrari of phones?

My appeal to Samsung is to make a super phone? Let’s put something out there that really distinguishes itself from the field and is not produced for the masses. I want a phone that is made to be amazing, not made to be the best selling phone in the world. Now you can go a little bit off the beaten path in your search. For example, the best Galaxy S3 out there was the South Korean model. The SK S3 combined the quad core processor of the international model, with the 2GB of RAM of the US model. This created the cream of the crop of S3′s. You could go online and throw some serious wheeling get your hands on one. Yet this wasn’t as big a jump as I need. It also was indistinguishable to the naked eye the difference. I want someone to know that I have a kick ass phone.

Maybe the real solution though is we just need a whole new developer to throw the phone world on its head? When Ferrari designs and makes a car they are not trying to make the best selling car in the world. They want to a high performance car that caters to the high end people that want and can afford to, or desire to because they are so into cars, spend that much money on an automobile. A high end performance phone manufacturer, that’s what this industry needs. It also has to have an alluring visual design. Much like when a Ferrari rolls down the street, I want to pull my phone out of my pocket and have people ohhh and ahhhh knowing the performance level that I have sitting there.

The phone industry I think demands something like this. I myself as a phone savvy guy would be willing to spend $600 on a contract for something that would really blow other things away. This I feel would be enough of a price jump to at least scare off the grandmothers and average folks from jumping on board. The best phone on the planet should not be mainstream, it should be a bit outside of the box and off the beaten track. Sure rich people could scoop one up but that part is unavoidable. I just as a phone expert, do not want to have the same phone as the girl working at Taco Bell. Is that too much to ask?

As my loyal readers know I went back to school this semester down at Florida Atlantic University in Boca Raton. To my less loyal readers I say now you know, and read more often ya fucks. To my stalkers I say hello and I’ll see you at the Breezeway Food Court around 1pm. The talk of the campus this past month has been about the school’s decision to sell naming rights for the stadium to the GEO Group. This issue has come up for discussion in every class that I’m in at some point and I have even written two papers for classes on the topic. It’s really galvanized the student body to unite in their backlash against the college, it’s been quite inspiring actually. It even resulted in an occupation of the administration building by a group of students that would have made The Dude proud.

For those hermits that avoid the news and cokeheads who never leave the bathroom, the brief story is that FAU sold/gave the naming rights for the football stadium to the GEO group. GEO is a Boca Raton based company that runs private prisons. The GEO Group has very close ties to FAU as its CEO Dr. George Zoley is an alumnus and has served as the chairman of the board of trustees at the university. GEO has been accused, and even found culpable of numerous human rights violations in the prisons that they run. These have ranged from atrocities including rape by guards, to simple gross negligence and intentional indifference. A Justice Department review of a GEO Group run prison in Mississippi found that countless rights violations had in fact occurred, but they held the Mississippi Department of Corrections culpable for being the ones that had outsourced the work to GEO Group.

The American Civil Liberties Union has spoken out against FAU for this jumping into bed with the GEO Group, and the negative press has been substantial. The donation that the GEO Group made was for $6 million dollars to be paid out over 12 years. This was the largest donation that the school had ever received. Yet there has to be some thought to given to where the money is coming from. Now it seems that the school wasn’t jumping INTO bed with the GEO Group, as they were already there, yet this display is the most public. You can be friends with non-reputable sorts behind closed doors, but going and naming the stadium after them is a little much. Sure we’re friends and all, but don’t tell anyone all right.

There have at least been some good names for the stadium brought up out of all this. The official name is just going to be the lame uncreative “GEO Group Stadium”. However there have been some good unofficial names bantered about. The most popular one seems to be “Owlcatraz”. While my favorite, with it being Boca Raton and all, is “Owlschwitz”. We got to at least have a little fun with this thing.

I decide to dig around for some more information on this issue. I always go to any means necessary to get the inside scoop, that’s my commitment to my readers, this blog, and Tyler Durden. So I know this girl that works in the athletic department who is always giving me seductive looks, I decided to see if I could get anything out of her. The other day I flashed her a little of my trademark grin and took her over to Coyote Jack’s after class and started pumping some beers intp her. I don’t drink anymore, but it was all right because she drank enough for the both of us. Unfortunately I couldn’t get any info, she kept diverting it to dumb stories about shopping. It was frustrating. When she invited me back to her dorm room I figured maybe I could find some documents laying around that I could steal. Yet when we got back there all she wanted to do was get in my pants. So for the sake of the investigation I obliged, after our third session she finally started to sing.

As she laid there recovering, from what naturally was the best sex of her life, she informed me that in fact Hooters restaurant had offered the FAU athletic department MORE money than the GEO Group. I found this startling. So it couldn’t have been all about the money. It seems there had to be darker forces at work here. She said that they were told that the negative publicity from the women’s groups would be too much for the school to name the stadium after a place like Hooters. After pumping all the information in and out of her that I could, I faked a phone call from Florida basketball coach Billy Donovan and made my exit.

On the way out, after apologizing for the noise to the group of scantily clad coeds gathered outside her door, I began thinking about this alleged bad publicity. Surely the honchos at FAU couldn’t have possibly thought that the publicity would be worse for naming the stadium after a chicken wing joint that employs big breasted women, than it would for a group that beats and rapes people. You don’t even need a Public Relations AA degree from Palm Beach State College to figure that out. Hooters even has a nice tie in to the whole Owl theme with the hooting and the owl’s known fondness for large breasts. This had to be a cover story, and a bad one at that.

So I decide to take it right to the top. I sprayed some Hugo Boss on and I made a beeline for the president’s office. I wondered who I was going to have to sleep with there to get some information, hopefully they’re good looking. When I got there everybody was very tight lipped. It seemed they had been shaken up by the previous student occupation and security was on high alert. I saw two guards at the front door and had to come up with a plan. I remembered how zealously they had shot a homeless man on the roof a few weeks back and figured bloodlust was their weakness. I ran up in a panic mentioning that I thought I saw a dirty hippie man walking around wielding a pointy spatula. They ran off in hot pursuit talking about being on the big news.

With them gone, I was able to slip into the President Mary Jane Saunders inner sanctum. I stuck my head in and peered around, secretary in a flannel shirt, uh oh. Over by the water cooler I saw two women, acid wash jeans and Bieber haircuts. FML, it’s the impenetrable lesbian wall of silence. My journalistic skills here would be rendered mute. It was like Superman and kryptonite. I had never known that President Saunders swung that way. Yet all the telltale signs were there, married only after her professional career had taken off, only a daughter from her husband’s previous marriage, bad hair and not enough makeup. Ugh, her sexual life was a big a sham as the PR cover story I was trying to crack, the irony at least made me chuckle.

My investigation it seems had ended. Some facts had emerged. I knew that FAU wasn’t all about the money since Hooters had offered them more money. I knew that FAU and the GEO Group were up to something. I knew that President Saunders was a big time carpetmuncher. I knew that my investigative journalism techniques needed some work as I can’t just be a one trick pony that has to sleep with women to get information. One day all these pieces will come together. Somebody big is running things down in Boca Raton that’s for sure, and I can assure you it’s not being the Boy Scouts.

I have this thing that I do a lot of the time where when ever somebody is talking about something I’m busy on my phone looking up and checking on the validity of the facts they are incorporating into their statements. Some may call this annoying while others my call it a quirk and still others might call it a service to the community. However you want to look it at it, I’ve found that almost everybody out there has no fucking clue what they are talking about.

Pretty much every time I check on something that somebody said it turns out to be false. Now I’m sure that this is skewed a bit by the fact that I only look up things that have at least an inkling of suspicious backing. For instance if someone mentions that Steve Spurrier played his high school football in Tennessee. I would not look that up because I would know it to be fact. Yet if they say something that I have my doubts over out comes the phone and I start googling shit. Now I try to do this as inconspicuously as possible. This is made easier by the fact that I have my phone in my hand so often that it doesn’t seem out of place. The trick is being fast about it. There’s no point in finding out once the conversation has already moved on to some other subject. So there is a balance, sometimes I might even say something to ensure that it stays on that subject while I can continue to conduct my research.

Now why do I do this? I don’t really have an answer to that. Do I like to prove other people wrong? Yes, a little bit but that certainly isn’t the main objective here. I just feel that in a day when the real facts are so easily accessible why should we dabble in possibilities. Often times I’ve heard somebody say something that I believe has the possibility to be false so I start looking it up. Meanwhile another person in the conversation is remarking something like “hmmm, I wouldn’t have thought that, that is sooooooo interesting”. Now there are a couple of possibilities here. First is that the person doesn’t care at all and is just feigning interest in what the fact speaker is saying. Second option would be that they really are fascinated by this and now are just taking that for fact and could possibly spread these facts onto future conversations. Either way wouldn’t it be much much better to know the truth. If the person is feigning interest, than that’s bullshit anyway and I don’t think anybody should be fake at all. I never feign interest, all my interest is valid and if I’m not really interested I would just tell you that I could care less. The other possible scenario would result in this false information being passed on all around, ways like that are how false bullshit is allowed to spread. Countless times when I’ve called somebody out on their bullshit after looking it up, they remark that they heard it from somebody else.

Some might say, why don’t you just say that you don’t think the statement is valid when you first hear it. Now that is an option, but there is so much bullshit going on in the world today that I just think that would slow down conversations too much. It’s much like instant replay in football games. We have the technology to get each and every call right each and every time, but it would just allow nothing to flow. Every single fact can’t be checked out and argued over while the conversation is stopped. That’s where the speed factor comes in, you have to be quick and now how to search for things effectively. It also provides the proof needed so that there is no long discourse as the bullshitter attempts to prove his point. Here it is in black and white, the facts speak for themselves sir.

Some people might find this annoying and I have pissed people off with t in the past. However, those people are the ones that are wrong all the time. Society has a whole should be lucky that there are people like me out there checking up on all the facts that people just blindly go around spouting. All it takes is one bullshit know it all and the rest of you sheep will just go around repeating these interesting facts. Let me tell you something that most of the time a bullshit fact is a lot more interesting than a real one. When you can make it up you have free reign to make that shit as interesting and mind bending as the brain can handle.

So remember when your out there at the bar trying to spout off like your some sort of UFC expert, there are a small band of committed pioneers with smartphones out there to call you on your stupid shit. We might not be a large contingent, but we are some of the best and the brightest so watch out. I feel that even though you might not recognize it, our world is a safer more informed one do to all the trusty fact checkers out there. So keep your battery charged and your ears open because the only way bullshit is allowed to propagate is when smart people idly sit by and do nothing.

So today news came out that Chip Kelly who had previously firmly stated that he had decided to stay at Oregon, had a change of heart and has accepted the job to coach the Philadelphia Eagles in the NFL. Every coach has the right to change his mind. I’m sure any Miami Dolphins fan in the area would say that is their birth given right, lol. Chip Kelly’s departure was met with some shock by Oregon fans and players of course, causing Oregon 4-star recruit Nico Falah to tweet “Chip Kelly left?!?! He was at my house 2 days ago!”. However, my research has shown me that Chip Kelly is not to blame. In fact there was a higher calling at work here. One that has bigger plans for both Chip Kelly and the Philadelphia Eagles….. the Oregon Ducks, well yeah they’re screwed.

Chip Kelly’s spread option Quack Attack some may say is not suited to the NFL. Many people see this hire as a waste of time and anticipate Kelly falling flat on his face. Fortunately the timing is perfect for all the pieces to fall into place. Right now another certain guy, who similarly to Kelly does nothing but win, is also available and would be a perfect fit for this offense. Enter stage right please Mr. Tim Tebow.

It’s as if God himself came down and tapped Kelly on the shoulder saying, wouldn’t you reconsider your decision to remain at Oregon. God let Kelly know that right now one of his favored children is suffering do to the forced persecution ensued by a tattooed man and his devil spawn in that cesspool that is New York. Chip Kelly not being one to argue with God of course jumped at this chance. Mr. Tim Tebow would be a perfect fit for this offense. Sure, he has Michael Vick but God doesn’t much care for that dog fighting asshole and another sinner he of the drug addict spawn would certainly be willing to take his beloved Vick back with him. So Kelly can unload Vick to Andy Reid for some draft picks, bring Tim Tebow in for next to nothing and just sit back and let the magic happen. After all, Tebow is perfectly built for the offense and one bad stint in that graveyard that is the Jets shouldn’t condemn him to a lifetime of hell. God, even a hands off God, couldn’t possibly just sit back and let that happen.

Tim Tebow woke up this morning perhaps thinking that he didn’t have a chance in the NFL and as of this afternoon he has two perfect options opening up. While I think the Chip Kelly one makes the most sense. Also today, the Chicago Bears announced the hiring of former CFL coach Marc Trestman as their new head coach. Trestman worked extensively with Tim Tebow in his preparations before the draft and was always a big Tebow supporter applauding his coach-ability and work ethic and expressing no doubts over his ability to be molded and succeed in the NFL.

So what a roller coaster it has been for Tim Tebow recently, as if that’s anything new in his life. Always smiling throughout things are always going to be looking up for Tebow. I’m so glad that his outlook is once again bright. It just furthers the belief that if you live the right way, with a right attitude all the time things will work out. I’m sure Tebow himself never got down about the situation, that’ s just not something he does. He just fights on. I’m sure that even though all of us Tebow fans wished it, Tim himself was probably rooting for the Broncos this past weekend. All of spent the night laughing at Denver fans who sent the playoff game winner packing to bring in Mr. Peyton Manning and his gaudy stats only to fail at winning a playoff game. Tim didn’t laugh of course, he probably felt bad for them.

Chip Kelly has now been brought in with almost identical reactions to when Tim Tebow entered the league. Perfect college system that people are saying can’t possible work in the NFL. The NFL is a different animal, you can’t change the way things have been done. Chip Kelly asks why not? Heath Evans from the NFL network even went so far as to label Kelly’s hire “the NFL’s worst ever”.

It’s all almost too eerily similar to when Tim Tebow entered the league. All Tebow then showed was that he could win games leading Denver from the cellar of a start to the playoffs and a playoff win.  Yet somehow the forces of evil still came together and he was banished to be ruined by Rex Ryan and an offense run by the offensive juggernaut that is Tony Sporano. This horrible team that makes the worst decisions, decided not to give him a chance and somehow that’s Tim’s fault. Was the only right decision the Jets made all year the one to sit Tebow because he obviously has no talent, haha that seems almost lunacy to believe. Yet somehow other teams did. Just this month it was looking as if no one in the NFL would give Tim a chance. Yet Tebow can and has succeeded, why not once again? This is a storyline that you couldn’t script any better with a team of million dollar screenwriters. I implore you Chip Kelly, go out there and get Mr. Tebow right this second, I hope this phone call has already taken place. If not, hopefully God can intervene once again, just making those two cellphones ring at the same time. The nature of winning football will take its course from there, next stop Super Bowl.

So the Consumer Electronics Show for 2013 runs this week in beautiful Las Vegas. This thing is basically a place where tech gurus and reviewers from all the major publications gush over all the hip new technology that companies unveil. Basically each company in the technology industry holds an event where all these press nerds go and ohhhhh and awwwww at all this awesome stuff that we never end up seeing. Sure I guess some of the major companies come out with stuff that eventually does hit mainstream America, but that stuff isn’t what really gets me going. What I like is all this amazing sounding cool stuff that these companies that most people have never heard of announce, but then of course is never heard about again. This the real creme de la creme of CES.

Now a major player like Samsung or Verizon or Motorola for instance, their hands are kinda tied by having to live in the realities of being a major player in the industry. They come out with realistic high quality stuff that is actually going to be in the hands of millions of American’s sometime later this year. They generally have to play it safe and all their stuff has been leaked before CES even starts anyway so there are no major surprises. Yawn yawn, as far as I’m concerned.That’s not the stuff that gets a technology guy’s dick hard. Now the smaller companies, they can take risks. If your not a major player you gotta make a splash. You gotta have something that gets people talking. You want to create a buzz. Who cares if this stuff never gets mass produced, hell at least you built 1 of them and its pretty cool. These companies can certainly play a big role though as a lot of the risky innovative stuff ends up being incorporated by the major companies into their designs somewhere down the road.

So let me share with you some of this really cool stuff that I’m talking about from this year’s show….

This is the Viewsonic VSD240 tablet. Viewsonic is a private American company based out of California founded by CEO James Chu that is probably best known as a player in the monitor field. Now I don’t know if the picture can really do this thing justice, probably not, but this is a 24 inch behemoth of a tablet. It has a 24-inch 1,920×1,080-pixel-resolution HD LED screen, ships with Android 4.1, and runs on a 1.7GHz Nvidia Tegra 3 quad-core processor. It’s probably one of those things that you can’t even really fathom how large this must be until you actually see it in person. This is like a quantum leap up in size from anything the average person has ever seen. I imagine bumping into it in the wild would be like a freshman high school girl going home with John Holmes one day. All the tablets I’ve fucked around with are 8th grade boys I’m sure. It’s not all just about the large size though as that display is certainly respectable and the quad core processor packs quite the punch. What makes this even more interesting is the totally reasonable $499 price tag they announced to go along with it. Now I wouldn’t expect to bump into this on Best Buy’s shelves in the upcoming months, but if one had the gumption to go online and order one I’m sure you’d be the center of attention on the Starbucks patio.

Keeping up with the bigger is better theme that is currently running through the wireless industry, and which I am a big fan of, this right here is the Huawei Ascend Mate. Now Huawei isn’t really what you would call a small time player as they are in fact the largest telecommunications provider in the world, just mostly not in direct consumer products. Huawei recently got a whole lot of bad press, including an excellent piece on 60 minutes that you should watch if you get a chance, due to their being viewed as basically a shell company for the Communist government of China. Now Huawei claims that they are simply just another multinational business in this global economy, but their veil of secrecy and the CEO’s unwillingness to do any interviews might provide some doubt in the minds of many. However, Huawei has not been able to make much of a dent in the cellphone world despite their efforts. My store has carried a few for T-Mobile, but they were not very popular. Despite one being a coupon for a month. I sold 2 of them, to a couple, that month and immediately had regret that I was further the Communist cause here in America. Fortunately the wife returned hers for a Galaxy S1 because the Huawei didn’t work with her Bluetooth. The husband kept his and must be enjoying it since he has never come back with a complaint, although it is possible that he was labeled a Communist sympathizer and booted from the country or even eliminated.

Back to the Ascend Mate now, this monster was officially unveiled at CES although I had heard rumors about it and even seen some pics before. It is currently the largest phone out in the world checking in at 6.1 inches. Who knows how long they will keep that title though as Samsung’s Note III is rumored to be headed for a 6.3 inch size. I don’t know if this might be the phone to get Huawei into the fold as a cell player, but they are certainly putting their vast resources to play. This thing is big and packs quite a punch. Specs wise it sounds pretty great; 1.5GHz quad-core processor, 8MP camera, 6.1″ HD display (720p), 4050mAh battery, Android 4.1, and a body that measures 6.5mm at its slimmest point. A cool thing as well is that they say their screen technology allows the touchscreen to be operated even when the user is wearing a glove, not something that we down here in Florida worry about, but for you Yankees that might be a common problem in the winter with other phones. No word on carrier’s yet, but if someone big picks this thing up then I could certainly see it being Huawei’s most successful phone so far by far. It’s the biggest phone in the world right now, and whenever your top at something, its going to draw interest.

This is the ASUS Transformer AiO. It’s an 18 inch tablet which sounds kinda tame when compared to the Viewsonic one from earlier, but the interesting thing about this one is that it runs both Android AND Windows 8. So its sitting at your home in a dock and is a fully functional all in one Windows 8 PC with a 3rd generation Intel® Core™ processor and NVIDIA® GT 730M graphics, then it becomes time to go and you grab it on your way out and bang you got an 18.4 inch tablet running Android with a Tegra 3 processor. This is scheduled to be released Q1 of this year so very soon. I’ve always loved what ASUS has been doing in the tablet sector and don’t understand why they aren’t a bigger mover and shaker than they all. While this certainly isn’t for everyone it is quite a slick item for the technology business professional on the go.

This bad boy from Dell has been dubbed “Project Ophelia” and is an Android 4.0 USB stick that can turn any display into a PC. Wow imagine the freedom that this would give you. Anywhere you go just pop this sucker in and it uses cloud services to give you access to all the documents, music, anything that you want. This could really revolutionize the whole business traveler world. I’m envisioning goodbye computer bags and even all carry on luggage. Zip in, zip out, wow the dreams. Oh wait, that’s when the crashing reality hits that you still have to carry around a Bluetooth keyboard and mouse in order to be able to do anything with this sucker. Oh well, its still a cool thinking outside of the box concept and could be the stepping stone to amazing leaps in portability in the future.

I’d love to be able to go to CES one of these days, so people please keep reading, please keep clicking on ad’s and let’s get Frank Fitton there to cover this thing for you my special friends. Remember, I fly first class!!

So today is my first day back to school down at FAU in Boca. I had been planning it for awhile but everything got thrown for a little loop back in August when with the help from a dear former friend of mine I received my second DUI in 5 years. They ended up revoking my license for 5 years. I always like to look at the cup half full as my faithful readers now, so I will mention that I can apply for a hardship license in 1 year. Anyway the first thought that came into my head when the sentence was handed down was oh now I’m totally fucked now and there’s no way I’m going to be able to go to FAU anymore. I was pissed. Fortunately the thought process didn’t end there, or be followed by fuck it let’s get trashed. Although both options were fairly viable at the time. Instead I dusted myself off, and thought… how can I make this happen.

The answer of course was fairly obvious, and based upon the opening sentence of this piece…. achievable. I would simply utilize our brilliant public transit system to get me to my destination in a timely manner. Being quite the environmentalist I was also kind of proud of myself for adopting this green approach for my twice weekly commute down to lovely Boca Raton for class. I had visions of hot socially conscious chicks, which might be a myth I’ve learned, handing me awards for my green approach to living. No one needs to know about the forced role that losing my license played in this endeavor. Maybe I could even ghost write a hyperbolized celebratory piece on myself for the FAU magazine about students going green. I’d make myself a celebrity one way or another.

Now it’s only day #1 so far, but I don’t think my plan is going to work out as I had imagined. Newsflash for all of you, they rarely do. Our public transit system I’m fearful to say does not appear to be the grand well oiled machine that I had imagined. This isn’t London or somewhere, this is Palm Beach County I should have realized. Today I decide to do it all the way. I was going to take the bus to the train station, then the train, and then there’s another bus to FAU.

The first bus stop is about a 6-8 minute walk from my house. I woke up plenty early, was able to stop at Publix and pick up a couple of five hour energies for the day and get some cash back in case it was needed for my journey. I got out there to the bus stop and then realized that I had forgotten my ear buds. Now I’m faced with a quandary. Do I brave the journey without ear buds, or do I attempt a mad dash back to my house to grab them. I weighed the options over in my head. I figured that I could live without the music, but ear buds provide such a more advanced role than that when traveling on the public transit system. The music is nice, but the real plus is an insulation buffer from the other travelers. People aren’t as apt to talk to you or expect interaction when you have headphones on. I knew that I could not be without my social bubble. So I turned around and headed home.

After grabbing the ear buds, I rushed back to the bus stop. Since I had initially left so much time, as I always do I’m kind of a worrier in that sense, I still got there a few minutes before the bus was scheduled to arrive. The minutes however started ticking away. I begin wondering, is it possible that the bus was actually early and I missed it. How would one ever know if  that happened? Bus are never early though right, but then again what kind of an expert are you Mr. Palm Beach you don’t know shit about buses. I have these inner conversations in my head all the time and I always make so much sense, on both sides. It got to be 10 minutes and I had thought for sure that I had the dubious distinction of needing the only goddam bus that happened to run ahead of schedule. Just then the bus in its glorious teal and magenta appeared on the horizon, trudging the proverbial road of happy destiny.

Now though I’m stuck on a bus that has gotten to my stop 10 minutes behind schedule, and is only scheduled to arrive at the train station 5 minutes before the Tri-Rail departs. While math is certainly not my strong suit, I can do enough to realize that in this situation it doesn’t add up. So its up to you Mr. Palm Tran bus operator to make up the time and get me to that train on time. I certainly don’t want to sit around Mangonia Park for an hour waiting on the next train. I didn’t get enough cash back at Publix to make that worth my time.

I had assumed that the bus driver had a GED at least and thus didn’t have much faith in his abilities. However, I must have underestimated my county worker superstar, because goddammit he made up that time. We got to the train station only 3 minutes past schedule. That means that slick bastard shaved off 7 minutes, touche bus drivere. I bust it over to the brilliant Tri-Rail ticket vending machine to purchase my ticket. It returned to me 4 gold dollar coins, which I assume that I will have for quite some time cause I don’t want the weird looks that I would receive when paying with them, and I got on that train on time.

I got my seat and was headed down in all my green splendor. At the Lake Worth station a smelly man sat in my four seater with me, but he either didn’t like my “I’m that Dude” Nike shirt or just spotted a completely free four seater and he moved. The train ride was actually the smoothest part of the ride. That part only took 37 minutes, which is about the same time the bus took to get from Northlake to 45th st.

At the train station I have to take a 7 minute bus ride to get to the FAU campus. Getting on that Tri-Rail shuttle has some confusion though. I have no idea what the cost or plan of fare is. I had read that a Tri-Rail ticket provided a free transfer, but when I flashed that and attempted to walk by, the driver asked me for ID. I don’t know what ID? FAU ID? Florida ID? I just paid the fare for a normal bus and kept walking. I hate not knowing information. I could have just asked him I guess but I also don’t like admitting that I don’t know either. I hate systems that don’t make it obvious. I felt like the guy was punking me or something, which I know is ludicrous. That train was packed and I had to stand in the aisle grasping the bar for support. My crotch was lined up pretty closely at face level to a young black girl, but I’m sure she enjoyed it.

All in all, the trip came off reasonably well I must say. Although I do wish I could cut out the bus portion of the trip entirely. I already have plans on Wednesday to cut out the first part as I have a ride to the train station. While being a little less green, I think it is the much smarter play. Of course in any of the media outlets that I’m featured in I will cover up that part, although a little investigative journalism on their part could surely lead them to this piece. Hopefully my praise doesn’t go national or something because then they might start digging. Cheers everyone, and just so you know I make that asshole driving the Prius and calling it green look like a punk!!!!