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FAU Owls Tug at My Florida Gators Heart Oct 07

FAU vs Florida graphicFor those that don’t know, I started attending Florida Atlantic University this past Spring after attending University of Florida after high school in 1999. I’ve always been a diehard Gators fan, one of the biggest you will ever come across, and never thought my heart would be swayed even in the slightest. Yet know I find a little bit of my heart falling for these lovable FAU Owls.

My Gators obsession started even before birth as I am sure that I was exposed to Gators love even in the womb. I was born at lovely Shands Hospital on the UF campus in Gainesville, FL while my parents were there attending school. The first picture of lovely Frank Reed Fitton III at the hospital shows me wearing a shirt that says, “I was Born a Baby Gator.” So were talking about 32 years of beautiful tradition here, so you are dam right I’m living in the past.

NCAA Football: Florida Atlantic at South FloridaSince I started in the spring 2013, I did miss last year’s forgettable FAU football season. This year has been my first exposure to the Owls in that regard. I never thought that I would really care about following this team at all, but honestly it is hard not to love them. While not a dominant force at all, that are young and full of fight. Led by sophomore quarterback Jaquez Johnson, the Owls may be sitting at 2-4 on the season but they could very easily be 4-2 with stinging close loses to Rice and Middle Tennessee State. The Rice game Johnson sat out with a collarbone injury and the MTSU game was lost in overtime.

The Gators are first in my heart now, and at this point I figure forever, but I am telling you that you never know. I’m just glad that they are not rivals at this point. FAU did make a visit to the Swamp a couple years back, but it was a paycheck game that they had no chance of winning. While I don’t think it is possible to root for two top tier type teams. I think it is possible to root for two teams if one is at the top level of the game and the other is farther down.

Yet this Owls team I will say definitely appears to be on the rise. Who knows what we might be talking about a few years from now. One of FAU’s victories this year is over the University of South Florida, and those Bulls were a top tier football team a few years back. While they have taken an epic fall since those days, they took quite the epic rise to get to the position for said fall. Could FAU trudge a similar path? Could FAU and Florida one day be rivals? I would say that crazy things certainly have happened.

Sun risingRight now for me it is UF first and FAU second and rising, yet with still a long way to go. Yet FAU is for a fact #2 with a bullet. Once I finish this degree at FAU it might make it even a closer battle, and in that time I anticipate FAU improving as well.

With that improvement FAU’s fan base hopefully might get a little more fired up, which they would certainly need if they want to win this heart. With this blog post in mind, today I wore a Gators shirt to class at FAU. I did not get a single comment, or even a dirty look that I noticed. This shouldn’t happen if we were in fact rivals. I need a little bit of hatred between the schools in order to make me choose one or the other in the future. So I am letting you know right now Owls, that if you want to win this heart over you are going to have to get a little bit more fired up. Trust me too, you want this heart, you want it bad as I am one of the biggest fans of my teams out there. Right now you are staying in the guest house, hopefully seething and planning a mutiny. I cannot wait to see how the next couple years play out. Hell, we even got Jeff Driskel’s brother coming to Boca Raton to play next year that would make it even more interesting.

ESPN 760 Officially Retired and It Feels Wrong Sep 13

ESPN 760This had been in the works for quite some time, but this past Tuesday ESPN 760 officially converted to all Spanish ESPN Desportes. ESPN 760 had been our local AM sports talk radio since as far back as I can really remember and it’s sad to see it go. Now it’s not like we are left high and dry. Quite a bit back they had begun broadcasting on 106.3 FM, and that’s where all the programming that we’ve come to love can still be found. The last few months they’ve been duel broadcasting, but now it’s all on the FM. That’s where you can find your Evan Cohen, your Ken LaVicka and your national ESPN radio hosts you crave like the incomparable Colin Cowherd and his Herd.

Yet something just doesn’t sit right with me with it being on 106.3 FM. Even these past few months I had continued listening to it on the ol’ faithful 760 on the AM dial. It’s sports talk radio, it’s been ingrained in me that it should be on AM. 106.3 FM sounds to me like I’m going to be tuning into some screechingly bad Rush or Journey, not the sweet soothing sounds of Evan Cohen and Alan from Wellington going at it.

Abraham_SimpsonI try and tell myself that I’m being ridiculous. The station owners did it with the best intentions at heart. After all it is an incontrovertible fact that the FM waves have a stronger signal. It certainly sounds better most places on the FM dial. Yet it still just doesn’t seem right to me. I imagine the old geezer’s back in the day saying, “this color TV thing will never catch on, it’s not supposed to look like that bring back my black and white.” Shut up old man, this color is awesome I would’ve told that guy. Yet I find myself longing for the days of 760 on the old faithful AM dial.

I have a lot of good memories of ESPN 760. It was the first time that I ever called into a radio show, the first time I ever called into a radio contest and the first time I ever won a radio contest. The first two were at the same time and I can remember it like it was yesterday.

I was living in Palm Beach at the time and as a result of this constantly had to traverse the drawbridge. My bridge was the northernmost one and I lost quite a bit of my life waiting on that sucker to open and close. This time I was the very first car just missing making the bridge. That’s the worst as it opens and closes all slow in front of you just mocking you. I was listening to 760 at the time and they had a trivia question. It was soccer question. Due to my love of it as well as because of my gambling, I consider myself a bit of an expert on the game. At least in these parts that is. The question was an easy one that I knew right away. It was “name the Portuguese former FC Porto manager who currently manages Chelsea.” I knew right away that the answer was of course Jose Mourinho.

Mourinho chuggingI sat there in my car, staring at the bridge muttering to myself how anybody who knows anything knows it’s Jose Mourinho. Since I wasn’t doing anything I figured I might as well call in. I had the number in my phone already since I had called into Evan Cohen’s show a few weeks before about something that I can’t really remember. I called up, got on the radio and answered the question. I nailed it and won a $50 gift certificate to Shane’s Rib Shack on Southern Blvd. I was ecstatic, I had never really won anything like that in my life.

I went to their offices on Palm Beach Lakes to pick up my winnings the next day. I shared an elevator with the now departed Mike Goldstein and really felt like wow what an awesome place this is.

That’s my fond memory of ESPN 760 and things just don’t seem the same over on the FM side of the dial. FM radio is Casey Kasem and more the style of my good friend Jeremy Loper. Evan Cohen to me is an AM guy and this is an awkward state of affairs. Maybe I’m just being that old black and white television geezer, but I miss the shows I love being on 760 AM.

Now I do speak Spanish, so I guess I could still enjoy my old channel every once in a while, but while I speak the language it’s not my preferred means of communication. Sometimes I’ll watch a soccer game over on Univision just because those announcers are soooo much better than the English speaker announcers, but I at least have the visual accompaniment there. No, I will not be listening to ESPN Desportes. I guess I’ll have to bite the bullet and take these ears over to 106.3 FM. As Bob Dylan sang all those years ago, “the times they are a-changing.”

It Only Took a Week for Mike Wallace to Get Disgruntled Sep 09

mike-wallace-dolphins-july-30-iconSo the Dolphins went out on Sunday and did something that they haven’t done too often the last few years, they secured a fairly decisive quality road victory. Sure it was the Browns, but it’s not like it was the Jaguars. Yet things surprisingly weren’t all smiles in the Dolphins locker room. In fact one member of the team was so upset about the game that he had to be consoled by Dolphins General Manager Jeff Ireland upon leaving the field. That person was also the person that just signed the largest free agent contract in Dolphins history. Yes Fins fans, it’s only been one week and Mike Wallace is upset.

Mike Wallace, he of the $60 million contract in the Spring, I guess never heard about trying to endear yourself to the fans or his teammates. All he wants to know is why Brian Hartline and Brandon Gibson were getting the balls that were supposed to go to him. Never mind the fact that Wallace had All-Pro corner Joe Haden on him most of the game while those guys were being covered by a couple of dudes named Owens and Skrine. Nope, Mike Wallace wants the ball.

Wallace was not up for talking to reporters after the game saying “I don’t feel like talking, man”. When pressed about not being targeted in the first half, he really made his emotions clear by stating “Ask coach, it’s not my game plan.”

Now if we wanted to put a positive spin on this we could say that it’s great that he wants so badly to be involved. He could just be happy to be cashing his big fat paycheck, would you want that?

mike-wallace-miami-dolphinsThe reality of the situation though is that this is a guy that obviously has a “me” over a “we” attitude. Furthermore, he lacks the brains to keep those feelings to himself. The diplomatic response, and the right one, would be to be happy that the team picked up a nice road victory. A smart football mind could clearly see out there that Wallace was drawing extra attention and leading to those other guys being open. Anything that I can do out there to help the team win, and thus earn those big fat paychecks. That’s what we wanna hear you say Mike Wallace. More importantly, that’s what we want to have you feel.

This is exactly what I thought Miami didn’t need, we didn’t need another diva wide receiver that was going to be bad for team chemistry. It’s obvious that Brandon Marshall has all the talent in the world, but things just didn’t work out with him. It took him a lot longer than week #1 to start complaining too. This is the start of very rocky footing that I hope the Dolphins coaching staff is skilled enough to navigate around. If things are like this when we are winning, imagine what it’s going to look like when the inevitable losing streak rears it’s head because I hate to break it to you, but this team isn’t going 16-0.

WWE Obvious Leaker Labeled as Nostradamus Jul 16

wwe_logo_crop_650x440Yesterday my good friends over at Deadspin released a story about a redditor who has correctly predicted the outcomes of 38 consecutive WWE matches. Deadspin by the way is a wonderful website if you like controversial or just plain funny sports news and good old investigative sports journalism. You should really read it every day, after you read Go Sell Crazy of course.

The guy over on Reddit goes by the alias “Dolphins1925″ and is a perfect 38 for 38 since he started posting the information. Now this is not just some guy out there predicting winners, no this guy has a higher motive in mind. His (I somehow amused it’s a guy but it could be a woman, or even a group yet I don’t wanna say it or the dreaded he/she) stated motive is to expose that this information is being leaked. He claims to not have any affiliation with WWE, but just to be an average fan who has taken on it to open up WWE management’s eyes to keep these secrets more closely guarded to preserve the integrity of the sport.

First off, I don’t want to bust the bubble of my powerful pre-teen male demographic readership…… but Pro Wrestling is FAKE. There, whew, the elephant in the room is out now we can proceed with the story. So Dolphins1925 really is a sort of modern day freedom fighter who is trying to preserve said integrity of said fake sport. I mean pro wrestling doesn’t have very much integrity to begin with, so to lose this last little sliver would be a crushing blow I’m sure.

Apparently the WWE didn’t have any idea that this guy existed until Deadspin contacted them for comment on the story. You would think one of their loyal fans would have bounced them an email or something on the topic when the guy was at 30 for 30 or something like that, but I guess that didn’t happen.

NostradamusWWE did finally release a brief comment on the situation last night which said “We may have a modern day Nostradamus on our hands. We might have to monitor these posts in advance of our next pay-per-view to see how good he or she really is.”

Really WWE? Calling this guy Nostradamus is somehow implying that the information is not leaked and this guy is just predicting it by himself. That is ridiculous. No one could go 38 for 38 predicting that. Even on real sports that are actually statistically based and can be handicapped. The fact that it’s all predetermined makes any “handicapping” of wrestling a complete joke.

Sportsbooks do offer lines on pro wrestling, which I’ve always found quite interesting. His most recent predictions were for the WWE’s Money in the Bank event. One of these events had 6 competitors in it and another one of them 7. The word was that the field was wide open, and the eventual winners came as a shock to most wrestling fans. Dolphins1925 though nailed them all. The interesting thing though was that on Bodog, a popular online sportsbook, all the eventual winners were also the favorites for that particular event. What that tells us is that the sportsbook’s are getting the information leaked as well. That should not be shocking at all as if some random guy can get it and post it on Reddit, there’s zero chance the sportsbooks don’t know it first. Sportsbooks have the most inside information of the inside. I remember when one of my good friends played for one of the biggest college football programs in the country and I would get information and another good friend of mine who works at a sportsbook would regard it as old news.

Breaking the Magician's Code groupAll pro wrestling does have going for it though is the illusion. It’s like a magic trick that’s fun and interesting to watch as long as you don’t know how it’s done. Remember when Breaking the Magician’s Code aired on Fox and all the magicians were up in arms? That’s what’s going on here. Just like magic, take the illusion away from wrestling and it’s just a bunch of homoerotic guy’s jumping around in costumes. It might have a second life down in Key West, but the mass appeal of the sport would be dead.

Granted as you probably gather, I’m not a pro wrestling guy. I know some people that are into it, and if you’re into it from what I gather you are into it deep. The most interesting thing I’ve done with pro wrestling was the Sega Genesis game’s back in the day which were pretty sweet.

Nevertheless, I can understand the appeal. I also know that a lot of wrestling fans are angry at Dolphins1925. Yet he is himself an admitted wrestling fan and doing this in order to open their eyes to the problem. He seems like someone who should be applauded. So what if he ruins a few events in the short term, that you somehow paid $50 for which is baffling, this guy has long term goals.

Who am IYet, we’d all like to know just who this guy is? Our biggest clue to Dolphins1925′s true identity are of course his statements about not being affiliated in anyway with WWE, and the alias itself. Dolphins1925, Dolphins1925. It’s safe to assume that most people are thinking this guy is a South Florida local, much like myself which makes this more intriguing. It’s more likely that he is a fan of the Miami Dolphins football team than just some creepy guy that likes porpoises I’m assuming. That takes us to the 1925 part. A birth date is the most likely culprit from my days working at the cell phone store and dealing with idiots and their passwords. So that leaves us with an 88 year old Miami Dolphins fan. Yet the whole idea of Reddit throws that off. Reddit is really a young man’s world and I don’t know any 88 year old people who even know what Reddit is. Perhaps this spry geezer is that diabolical that he knows that and chose that forum to intentionally throw us off.

Yet I have another suspect. There is a certain shrink friend of mine that this sounds right up his alley. He’s a big Dolphins fan, and often feigns obliviousness when it comes to Social Media type sites. For one he doesn’t even have a Facebook account. He also claims to not have a Twitter account, yet I’ve seen him on Twitter on his phone which shows you just how sneaky he is. If you inspect the Dolphins1925 manifesto statement from the Deadspin article you’ll notice that while saying he has no affiliation with the WWE, he claims to know someone that does and that they are the source of the information. This shrink friend of mine did use to do a lot of blow with the WWE diva girls before he went all scholarly, which is a little known fact. This only leaves us with the 1925 part.

Dicaprio GatsbyI thought long and hard about how I could connect him to the 1925 part so I started doing more research. I sat up all night pouring through 1925 in my head. I wrote 1925 on my whiteboard first forwards, then backwards, then inverted, then in Mandarin Chinese, and then in Cantonese. I came up with nothing. Then it finally came to me. 1925 was the year that F. Scott Fitzgerald published The Great Gatsby, it was all so crystal clear now. If you knew my friend you would be as equally convinced that it was him as I am at this moment.

I made a beeline over to his enclave and suspecting nothing he let me in. After some smalltalk about the hot chick in the yoga pants I saw at Starbucks that morning, this gets his trust and distracts him. I finally went right for the jugular with my accusation. I saw a drop of sweat drip from his brow, his eye darted to it at the same as my eye. I saw the sweat, he saw the sweat, and he knew that I saw the sweat and I knew that he saw the sweat. The drop of sweat was know by all. He quickly stammered “I have no idea what you are talking about.” He then stubbed his toe on the end table, perhaps purposely, and muttered something about having a client coming and I needed to leave.

It’s going to be very interesting to see where this progresses from here. Rest assured though my faithful readers that I will not turn down the heat. In fact, said heat will be cranked up a notch or two. Go Sell Crazy is on the case.


Investigating GEO Group and the FAU Stadium Naming Mar 11

StadiumAs my loyal readers know I went back to school this semester down at Florida Atlantic University in Boca Raton. To my less loyal readers I say now you know, and read more often ya fucks. To my stalkers I say hello and I’ll see you at the Breezeway Food Court around 1pm. The talk of the campus this past month has been about the school’s decision to sell naming rights for the stadium to the GEO Group. This issue has come up for discussion in every class that I’m in at some point and I have even written two papers for classes on the topic. It’s really galvanized the student body to unite in their backlash against the college, it’s been quite inspiring actually. It even resulted in an occupation of the administration building by a group of students that would have made The Dude proud.

For those hermits that avoid the news and cokeheads who never leave the bathroom, the brief story is that FAU sold/gave the naming rights for the football stadium to the GEO group. GEO is a Boca Raton based company that runs private prisons. The GEO Group has very close ties to FAU as its CEO Dr. George Zoley is an alumnus and has served as the chairman of the board of trustees at the university. GEO has been accused, and even found culpable of numerous human rights violations in the prisons that they run. These have ranged from atrocities including rape by guards, to simple gross negligence and intentional indifference. A Justice Department review of a GEO Group run prison in Mississippi found that countless rights violations had in fact occurred, but they held the Mississippi Department of Corrections culpable for being the ones that had outsourced the work to GEO Group.

Blood moneyThe American Civil Liberties Union has spoken out against FAU for this jumping into bed with the GEO Group, and the negative press has been substantial. The donation that the GEO Group made was for $6 million dollars to be paid out over 12 years. This was the largest donation that the school had ever received. Yet there has to be some thought to given to where the money is coming from. Now it seems that the school wasn’t jumping INTO bed with the GEO Group, as they were already there, yet this display is the most public. You can be friends with non-reputable sorts behind closed doors, but going and naming the stadium after them is a little much. Sure we’re friends and all, but don’t tell anyone all right.

There have at least been some good names for the stadium brought up out of all this. The official name is just going to be the lame uncreative “GEO Group Stadium”. However there have been some good unofficial names bantered about. The most popular one seems to be “Owlcatraz”. While my favorite, with it being Boca Raton and all, is “Owlschwitz”. We got to at least have a little fun with this thing.

Girl beer bottleI decide to dig around for some more information on this issue. I always go to any means necessary to get the inside scoop, that’s my commitment to my readers, this blog, and Tyler Durden. So I know this girl that works in the athletic department who is always giving me seductive looks, I decided to see if I could get anything out of her. The other day I flashed her a little of my trademark grin and took her over to Coyote Jack’s after class and started pumping some beers intp her. I don’t drink anymore, but it was all right because she drank enough for the both of us. Unfortunately I couldn’t get any info, she kept diverting it to dumb stories about shopping. It was frustrating. When she invited me back to her dorm room I figured maybe I could find some documents laying around that I could steal. Yet when we got back there all she wanted to do was get in my pants. So for the sake of the investigation I obliged, after our third session she finally started to sing.

As she laid there recovering, from what naturally was the best sex of her life, she informed me that in fact Hooters restaurant had offered the FAU athletic department MORE money than the GEO Group. I found this startling. So it couldn’t have been all about the money. It seems there had to be darker forces at work here. She said that they were told that the negative publicity from the women’s groups would be too much for the school to name the stadium after a place like Hooters. After pumping all the information in and out of her that I could, I faked a phone call from Florida basketball coach Billy Donovan and made my exit.

Stupid guyOn the way out, after apologizing for the noise to the group of scantily clad coeds gathered outside her door, I began thinking about this alleged bad publicity. Surely the honchos at FAU couldn’t have possibly thought that the publicity would be worse for naming the stadium after a chicken wing joint that employs big breasted women, than it would for a group that beats and rapes people. You don’t even need a Public Relations AA degree from Palm Beach State College to figure that out. Hooters even has a nice tie in to the whole Owl theme with the hooting and the owl’s known fondness for large breasts. This had to be a cover story, and a bad one at that.

So I decide to take it right to the top. I sprayed some Hugo Boss on and I made a beeline for the president’s office. I wondered who I was going to have to sleep with there to get some information, hopefully they’re good looking. When I got there everybody was very tight lipped. It seemed they had been shaken up by the previous student occupation and security was on high alert. I saw two guards at the front door and had to come up with a plan. I remembered how zealously they had shot a homeless man on the roof a few weeks back and figured bloodlust was their weakness. I ran up in a panic mentioning that I thought I saw a dirty hippie man walking around wielding a pointy spatula. They ran off in hot pursuit talking about being on the big news.

Mary Jane Saunders footballWith them gone, I was able to slip into the President Mary Jane Saunders inner sanctum. I stuck my head in and peered around, secretary in a flannel shirt, uh oh. Over by the water cooler I saw two women, acid wash jeans and Bieber haircuts. FML, it’s the impenetrable lesbian wall of silence. My journalistic skills here would be rendered mute. It was like Superman and kryptonite. I had never known that President Saunders swung that way. Yet all the telltale signs were there, married only after her professional career had taken off, only a daughter from her husband’s previous marriage, bad hair and not enough makeup. Ugh, her sexual life was a big a sham as the PR cover story I was trying to crack, the irony at least made me chuckle.

My investigation it seems had ended. Some facts had emerged. I knew that FAU wasn’t all about the money since Hooters had offered them more money. I knew that FAU and the GEO Group were up to something. I knew that President Saunders was a big time carpetmuncher. I knew that my investigative journalism techniques needed some work as I can’t just be a one trick pony that has to sleep with women to get information. One day all these pieces will come together. Somebody big is running things down in Boca Raton that’s for sure, and I can assure you it’s not being the Boy Scouts.



Chip Kelly and Tim Tebow a Match Made BY Heaven Jan 16

Chip Kelly to the skySo today news came out that Chip Kelly who had previously firmly stated that he had decided to stay at Oregon, had a change of heart and has accepted the job to coach the Philadelphia Eagles in the NFL. Every coach has the right to change his mind. I’m sure any Miami Dolphins fan in the area would say that is their birth given right, lol. Chip Kelly’s departure was met with some shock by Oregon fans and players of course, causing Oregon 4-star recruit Nico Falah to tweet “Chip Kelly left?!?! He was at my house 2 days ago!”. However, my research has shown me that Chip Kelly is not to blame. In fact there was a higher calling at work here. One that has bigger plans for both Chip Kelly and the Philadelphia Eagles….. the Oregon Ducks, well yeah they’re screwed.

Chip Kelly’s spread option Quack Attack some may say is not suited to the NFL. Many people see this hire as a waste of time and anticipate Kelly falling flat on his face. Fortunately the timing is perfect for all the pieces to fall into place. Right now another certain guy, who similarly to Kelly does nothing but win, is also available and would be a perfect fit for this offense. Enter stage right please Mr. Tim Tebow.

It’s as if God himself came down and tapped Kelly on the shoulder saying, wouldn’t you reconsider your decision to remain at Oregon. God let Kelly know that right now one of his favored children is suffering do to the forced persecution ensued by a tattooed man and his devil spawn in that cesspool that is New York. Chip Kelly not being one to argue with God of course jumped at this chance. Mr. Tim Tebow would be a perfect fit for this offense. Sure, he has Michael Vick but God doesn’t much care for that dog fighting asshole and another sinner he of the drug addict spawn would certainly be willing to take his beloved Vick back with him. So Kelly can unload Vick to Andy Reid for some draft picks, bring Tim Tebow in for next to nothing and just sit back and let the magic happen. After all, Tebow is perfectly built for the offense and one bad stint in that graveyard that is the Jets shouldn’t condemn him to a lifetime of hell. God, even a hands off God, couldn’t possibly just sit back and let that happen.

Tebow carefreeTim Tebow woke up this morning perhaps thinking that he didn’t have a chance in the NFL and as of this afternoon he has two perfect options opening up. While I think the Chip Kelly one makes the most sense. Also today, the Chicago Bears announced the hiring of former CFL coach Marc Trestman as their new head coach. Trestman worked extensively with Tim Tebow in his preparations before the draft and was always a big Tebow supporter applauding his coach-ability and work ethic and expressing no doubts over his ability to be molded and succeed in the NFL.

So what a roller coaster it has been for Tim Tebow recently, as if that’s anything new in his life. Always smiling throughout things are always going to be looking up for Tebow. I’m so glad that his outlook is once again bright. It just furthers the belief that if you live the right way, with a right attitude all the time things will work out. I’m sure Tebow himself never got down about the situation, that’ s just not something he does. He just fights on. I’m sure that even though all of us Tebow fans wished it, Tim himself was probably rooting for the Broncos this past weekend. All of spent the night laughing at Denver fans who sent the playoff game winner packing to bring in Mr. Peyton Manning and his gaudy stats only to fail at winning a playoff game. Tim didn’t laugh of course, he probably felt bad for them.

Lombadi trophyChip Kelly has now been brought in with almost identical reactions to when Tim Tebow entered the league. Perfect college system that people are saying can’t possible work in the NFL. The NFL is a different animal, you can’t change the way things have been done. Chip Kelly asks why not? Heath Evans from the NFL network even went so far as to label Kelly’s hire “the NFL’s worst ever”.

It’s all almost too eerily similar to when Tim Tebow entered the league. All Tebow then showed was that he could win games leading Denver from the cellar of a start to the playoffs and a playoff win.  Yet somehow the forces of evil still came together and he was banished to be ruined by Rex Ryan and an offense run by the offensive juggernaut that is Tony Sporano. This horrible team that makes the worst decisions, decided not to give him a chance and somehow that’s Tim’s fault. Was the only right decision the Jets made all year the one to sit Tebow because he obviously has no talent, haha that seems almost lunacy to believe. Yet somehow other teams did. Just this month it was looking as if no one in the NFL would give Tim a chance. Yet Tebow can and has succeeded, why not once again? This is a storyline that you couldn’t script any better with a team of million dollar screenwriters. I implore you Chip Kelly, go out there and get Mr. Tebow right this second, I hope this phone call has already taken place. If not, hopefully God can intervene once again, just making those two cellphones ring at the same time. The nature of winning football will take its course from there, next stop Super Bowl.


I Hate the Tape Delay Olympics, but Most Don’t Care Aug 03

I find it amazing that the prime time NBC Olympics showings are pulling in huge killer ratings when it’s all non live action. I mean isn’t the whole point of sports to watch it live and in the moment. I don’t get how people can tune into these events already knowing who won. It drives me crazy, you know the results how can you just sit there and enjoy all the fake tension leading to some pseudo climatic finish?

What I’ve realized though is that most people don’t already know the results. Most people don’t even realize that the action is on tape delay. The problem is that I tend to think that everybody thinks and behaves like me. I think that most people fall into this fallacy, its hard to not think that your way is the way of the masses. I’ve realized though that its fairly easy for the average person to go through their day and not find out who won the women’s beach volleyball game. Most people don’t follow sportswriters on twitter and check it all day long. Most people don’t check ESPN and other sports websites multiple times a day while their at work. These are things that I do so its literally impossible for me not to find out these results.

I was sitting at home with some friends the other night and the Olympics were on and no one even knew that this “action” we were watching was not live. I had to explain and break it down for them about how its about 3 in the morning in England right now so these events are not going on as we watch them. It takes them a second to think about it and then they realize that oh yeah, this must be true that which Frank doth speak of. Yet then they just realize it and go back to watching it with a real sense of excitement. It’s like huh, that’s interesting, but it has no effect on me. This my friends are the average Americans. That’s why NBC is killing it ratings wise, even outpacing the Bejing Olympics every night so far,  yet Twitter is all in an uproar about the tape delay situation. That’s my perception at least, because the circles that I follow have my same perception.

It’s ironic that as our world grows bigger and more connected we might at the same time be growing more and more close minded. I think that everybody behaves a certain way because that’s how my circles make me feel. To me the whole world is an uproar about something because its all over Twitter. Yet everybody that I follow on Twitter is people just like me.

So enjoy your tape delayed Olympics everybody. Its fine and I’m jealous. I want that sense of tension and excitement that the women’s final gymnastics last night had, that was great television. Yet it wasn’t to me because I had to already know the results because I want to be on the cusp of breaking news. I guess I’ll be looking forward to the next time the Olympics come to America so I can fully appreciate them in all their glory once again, because I sure do love the Olympics. I want to love these but I can’t just close myself up in a box for the entire day. Even if I didn’t go on Twitter or ESPN or Facebook, it could all be ruined by some text message that manages to leak through my wall. Maybe next time I have a day off I can just take a fistful of Tylenol PM’s and sleep for 18 hours, man that would be SWEET.


Real Life Dan Ruettiger No Match for Hollywood Image of Rudy Dec 16

It seems that everyone these days is aware of the movie story side of former Notre Dame walk on Daniel “Rudy” Ruettiger, yet the real side of this man is something that doesn’t always match up to the movie perspective. Today Mr. Ruettiger and his 12 co-defendants in a pump and dump stock scheme agreed to a settlement to put an end to a long SEC investigation. While the settlement did not admit or deny guilt, it does put a little tarnish on the golden helmet of the Rudy image that Hollywood has put in our minds.

The movie “Rudy” is the story of how the small but always scrappy Ruettiger persevered through endless tough Notre Dame Practices and finally got the chance to play. In the movie the players demand that Rudy get the chance to suit up and he responds by making a big play. In typical Hollywood fashion he is then carried off on their shoulders to his place in sports immortality.

Now I have known for many years that this image didn’t really match up with reality in South Bend. Now of course films always take “cinematic license” to create suspense and intrigue, but there is such a thing as stretching the truth a little too far.

I’ve personally known a few people who have played football for the Fighting Irish and from what they have told me I know that Ruettiger was not as revered by them as by people on the outside looking in. I got the feeling that he was considered almost like an annoying hanger on trying to cash in on the program. Joe Montana even has made some public comments in the past that have back this up. I’ve been to Notre Dame a few times for games and it is certainly an inspiring place. Just being there you can almost feel the history just oozing out of everywhere you look. I did all the great fan things such as running down the tunnel and hitting the play like a champion sign, that did make me feel great. When I was in the locker room I was even tempted to recreate the Gipper speech just like Rudy does himself in the film, although the look of embarrassment my player friend flashed at me was enough to reel this guy’s emotions in.

The question though that everything begs, is how much of this is real? This pump and dump stock scheme it seems might be closer to the real Dan Ruettiger than the film ever got. According to the SEC complaint, the company known as Rudy Nutrition pumped up its stock through false and misleading information to generate more than $11 million in illicit profits. Through the use of shell companies, disbarred lawyers, and a series of Panamanian corporations; the company was able to make their stock soar from $0.25 all the way to $1.05 before the SEC issued a trading suspension due to delinquent regulatory findings.

The complaint states that Ruettiger claimed that the company’s Rudy sports drink outsold Gatorade 2-1. Now I know the guy is pretty much a Hollywood celebrity with a great feel good story, but Jesus Christ did investors really believe that. Part of me believes that anyone who thinks that Rudy sports drink could outsell the king like that deserves to have their money stolen. The slogan of the sports drink was “Dream Big! Never Quit!” which makes sense if its referring to audacity with which these jokers conceived to bilk their investors.

In the film when finally given the chance Rudy comes in to record a sack and is carried off into the sunset. You’d think that running a scheme like this he might be carried off to Sunset Correctional Facility or something, but nope they simply settled the case for a settlement of $382,866. That seems awfully light to me for something they claim incurred $11 million dollars in illicit profits. Then again being the little fella that he is maybe we should take it easy on good ol’ Rudy.

Now Rudy is a great film, if you haven’t seen it you should go out and rent it and enjoy it, but it’s just that a film. You should always take these based on a true story items with a grain of salt. Even Head Coach Dan Devine, who agreed to a heavier than reality portrayal, called the scene where the players come in and lay down their jerseys on his desk as “unforgiveable” and “a lie”. Dan “Rudy” Ruettiger is no hero, Sean Austin Scott’s character of Rudy is. Ruettiger is just a normal person like any one of us, probably a little more flawed than most of us, and trying to cash in on fame like hardly any of us.


A Little Excitement at a Clippers vs Cavs Game? Mar 20

In case you missed it, and considering the teams playing you probably did yesterday afternoon a knife wielding intruder stormed onto the court at the Staples Center and had to be subdued. This piece of action happened before the Los Angeles Clippers and Cleveland Cavaliers got together for what was sure to be an epic contest.

The man was eventually brought down in a “hail” of rubber bullet fire after a 20 minute standoff. There has been no word so far on what exactly the man’s intentions or demands were, but there is no doubt that the man was crazy. He obviously wasn’t simply craving attention, because if he wanted that the local Starbucks probably would’ve been a more appropriate location than a Clippers game. Let alone a Clippers game against that team that Lebron James used to play for. I challenge the casual fan, or even the not so casual, to name two starters on the Cavs right now, Go! See, told ya you couldn’t do it.

Now authorities did say that the man didn’t have a ticket for the game. Rather he used the knife and threats of violence to bully his way into the arena through the employee entrance. This was probably a good choice of entrance on his part, because no minimum wage snack bar worker is going to try and be a hero like those big shots upstairs might attempt.

When the man got to the court, the only person he found out there was Cavaliers rookie forward Christian Eyenga. Eyenga, who is from the Congo, quickly rushed back to the locker room as soon as he spotted the man. Now Eyenga barely speaks English, but still knew enough to spot crazy. Cavaliers coach Byron Scott said of Eyenga, “Smart man, he understands knife, I guess. I think that goes all the way to Congo. Knife means get the hell out. So he did the right thing.”

Now the game ended up carrying on with little incident besides the start time being pushed back 15 minutes. The Clippers ended up winning the game 100 to 92, but of course all anyway was talking about was the psycho with the knife. So much so that it actually made the Clippers vs Cavs a relevant subject on Sportscenter this morning.

Now I’m not coming right out and saying it, but maybe the whole thing was publicity stunt by the Clippers management. They’ve ridden the Blake Griffin thing for as much as they can, but eventually you gotta start thinking outside of the box a little bit to get yourself noticed. Unfortunately this just leads to a seemingly never ending parade of things you have to do to top yourself. Maybe next week we have a guy with a gun, maybe then a bomb threat outside the Staples that forces everyone to remain inside. Of course this incident could always work for a little bit more somewhere down the road. Maybe a rubber knife day. Free rubber knifes to the first 1,000 kids to commemorate the incident.

However you dice it there is one thing that can now be said for the first time in at least my history. Yesterday’s Cavaliers vs Clippers game was the most exciting NBA game of the day yesterday. Los Angeles might still be a Lakers town, but they can have their good basketball, the Clippers are gonna steal our hearts with craziness. America is a sucker for crazy.

Fredette Fever Hits New York Correctional Facility Mar 15

Jimmer2Its not often that a player from a smaller school really becomes must see TV in the college basketball world. Much less from a Mormon college, and even rarer for that to carry into the country’s prison system. That however is exactly what has happened in the case of Jimmer Fredette from BYU.

If you don’t know who Jimmer is by now, yes he can go by a one word name like Prince, you obviously aren’t even a casual basketball fan. Fredette has been lighting up the college basketball world for the last couple years now and in this his final year its reached an almost fever pitch. Jimmer pours in points from anywhere on the court. He often hoists up shots that would make even the NBA 3 point line blush, and nails them.

Just last week another player of the year candidate, Kemba Walker from UConn, put in a magnificent game during the Big East tournament. Walker lit it up for 31 points and it surely seemed destined to be the performance of the day. That was until Jimmer stepped on the court later that night against New Mexico and scored 33 points….. in the first half. He would go on to pour in a career high 52 points that night and seems to just keep getting better and better.

Jimmer-FredetteThis year’s NCAA tourney is set to be a big stage that Jimmer could use to further cement himself in college football lore. These hopes did seem to take a big hit though a few weeks ago when the extremely rule heavy BYU kicked 2nd leading scorer and leading rebounder Brandon Davies off the team. This happened because Davies was determined to have violated the school’s archaic “honor code”. What was his mortal sin to necessitate such a heavy reaction you might ask? The troubled Mr. Davies had the weak moral character to have consensual sex with his girlfriend, oh the horror. Of course even if they are bounced this year, Mr. Fredette already cemented himself in my book last year when he poured in 37 points, including 2 killer 3′s in double OT, to lead BYU over my beloved Florida Gators.

What I wanted to talk about today though was an interesting story by Jeff Eisenberg of entitled “Jimmermania has Even Reached the New York Prison System”. This story talks about how prison life seems to stop at a correctional facility in Wilton, NY whenever a BYU game happens to be on national TV. It might seem odd that a prison in upstate New York is so drawn to a player from a heavily religious college in Utah, that is until you delve into the rich history between the two.

Jimmer himself is from the area of the prison having been born and growing up in Glen Falls, NY. A town I had only heard of from my swept under the rug hippie days, as where Phish started their Halloween covering an album tradition with an masterful set of The Beatles White Album. This geographically tie though is not nearly enough for crimnals serving time to carry about some local player. Nope, these miscreants feel a much more personal tie.

Back in the Spring of 2007, Jimmer and his older brother joined a team of civilians that went into the prison to actually play games against the inmates. No doubt this had something to do with not only the mental, but the physical toughness that Fredette displays out there on the court. The fact that he was willing to go in there and take on that challenge earned him the respect of the inmates at Mount McGregor Correctional Facility.

According to Mount McGregor Recreational Director John Montgomery, the players can’t get enough of Jimmer. He says “The inmates vote on what they want to watch on TV each week, and of course, they want to watch Jimmer, if BYU’s on our local television, every dorm will have the game on. Every inmate will want to watch. They do have that connection to him. They think, ‘God, he was up here playing against us.”

NCAA/BASKETBALLFredette of course vividly remembers his experiences playing at the prison. Everything from the armed guards standing around for protection, to the big mountain of liability paperwork he had to fill out, to the extreme by any standards trash talking he had to put up with. According to Fredette the experience was a great help to his game. “Obviously there are a lot more people in big arenas in college, but what they say to you doesn’t bother you because I heard pretty much everything in those prisons,” Fredette said. “I think that helped me get better at blocking the crowd out and just focusing on the game.”

While Jimmer hasn’t returned to the prison to play, his brother still goes occasionally and deals with a constant barrage of questions about how his little brother is doing. The inmates seem to be enthralled with the kid with the great shooting touch that wasn’t scared to enter their world. So while your sitting on your comfortable couch at home watching Jimmer put on the inevitable show later this week that has to be coming, just know that up in Wilton, NY there are cell blocks full of criminals cheering even louder for the silky smooth white kid from that Mormon college in Utah.