The movie “Rudy” is the story of how the small but always scrappy Ruettiger persevered through endless tough Notre Dame Practices and finally got the chance to play. In the movie the players demand that Rudy get the chance to suit up and he responds by making a big play. In typical Hollywood fashion he is then carried off on their shoulders to his place in sports immortality.

Now I have known for many years that this image didn’t really match up with reality in South Bend. Now of course films always take “cinematic license” to create suspense and intrigue, but there is such a thing as stretching the truth a little too far.

I’ve personally known a few people who have played football for the Fighting Irish and from what they have told me I know that Ruettiger was not as revered by them as by people on the outside looking in. I got the feeling that he was considered almost like an annoying hanger on trying to cash in on the program. Joe Montana even has made some public comments in the past that have back this up. I’ve been to Notre Dame a few times for games and it is certainly an inspiring place. Just being there you can almost feel the history just oozing out of everywhere you look. I did all the great fan things such as running down the tunnel and hitting the play like a champion sign, that did make me feel great. When I was in the locker room I was even tempted to recreate the Gipper speech just like Rudy does himself in the film, although the look of embarrassment my player friend flashed at me was enough to reel this guy’s emotions in.

The question though that everything begs, is how much of this is real? This pump and dump stock scheme it seems might be closer to the real Dan Ruettiger than the film ever got. According to the SEC complaint, the company known as Rudy Nutrition pumped up its stock through false and misleading information to generate more than $11 million in illicit profits. Through the use of shell companies, disbarred lawyers, and a series of Panamanian corporations; the company was able to make their stock soar from $0.25 all the way to $1.05 before the SEC issued a trading suspension due to delinquent regulatory findings.

The complaint states that Ruettiger claimed that the company’s Rudy sports drink outsold Gatorade 2-1. Now I know the guy is pretty much a Hollywood celebrity with a great feel good story, but Jesus Christ did investors really believe that. Part of me believes that anyone who thinks that Rudy sports drink could outsell the king like that deserves to have their money stolen. The slogan of the sports drink was “Dream Big! Never Quit!” which makes sense if its referring to audacity with which these jokers conceived to bilk their investors.

In the film when finally given the chance Rudy comes in to record a sack and is carried off into the sunset. You’d think that running a scheme like this he might be carried off to Sunset Correctional Facility or something, but nope they simply settled the case for a settlement of $382,866. That seems awfully light to me for something they claim incurred $11 million dollars in illicit profits. Then again being the little fella that he is maybe we should take it easy on good ol’ Rudy.

Now Rudy is a great film, if you haven’t seen it you should go out and rent it and enjoy it, but it’s just that a film. You should always take these based on a true story items with a grain of salt. Even Head Coach Dan Devine, who agreed to a heavier than reality portrayal, called the scene where the players come in and lay down their jerseys on his desk as “unforgiveable” and “a lie”. Dan “Rudy” Ruettiger is no hero, Sean Austin Scott’s character of Rudy is. Ruettiger is just a normal person like any one of us, probably a little more flawed than most of us, and trying to cash in on fame like hardly any of us.

The man was eventually brought down in a “hail” of rubber bullet fire after a 20 minute standoff. There has been no word so far on what exactly the man’s intentions or demands were, but there is no doubt that the man was crazy. He obviously wasn’t simply craving attention, because if he wanted that the local Starbucks probably would’ve been a more appropriate location than a Clippers game. Let alone a Clippers game against that team that Lebron James used to play for. I challenge the casual fan, or even the not so casual, to name two starters on the Cavs right now, Go! See, told ya you couldn’t do it.

Now authorities did say that the man didn’t have a ticket for the game. Rather he used the knife and threats of violence to bully his way into the arena through the employee entrance. This was probably a good choice of entrance on his part, because no minimum wage snack bar worker is going to try and be a hero like those big shots upstairs might attempt.

When the man got to the court, the only person he found out there was Cavaliers rookie forward Christian Eyenga. Eyenga, who is from the Congo, quickly rushed back to the locker room as soon as he spotted the man. Now Eyenga barely speaks English, but still knew enough to spot crazy. Cavaliers coach Byron Scott said of Eyenga, “Smart man, he understands knife, I guess. I think that goes all the way to Congo. Knife means get the hell out. So he did the right thing.”

Now the game ended up carrying on with little incident besides the start time being pushed back 15 minutes. The Clippers ended up winning the game 100 to 92, but of course all anyway was talking about was the psycho with the knife. So much so that it actually made the Clippers vs Cavs a relevant subject on Sportscenter this morning.

Now I’m not coming right out and saying it, but maybe the whole thing was publicity stunt by the Clippers management. They’ve ridden the Blake Griffin thing for as much as they can, but eventually you gotta start thinking outside of the box a little bit to get yourself noticed. Unfortunately this just leads to a seemingly never ending parade of things you have to do to top yourself. Maybe next week we have a guy with a gun, maybe then a bomb threat outside the Staples that forces everyone to remain inside. Of course this incident could always work for a little bit more somewhere down the road. Maybe a rubber knife day. Free rubber knifes to the first 1,000 kids to commemorate the incident.

However you dice it there is one thing that can now be said for the first time in at least my history. Yesterday’s Cavaliers vs Clippers game was the most exciting NBA game of the day yesterday. Los Angeles might still be a Lakers town, but they can have their good basketball, the Clippers are gonna steal our hearts with craziness. America is a sucker for crazy.

If you don’t know who Jimmer is by now, yes he can go by a one word name like Prince, you obviously aren’t even a casual basketball fan. Fredette has been lighting up the college basketball world for the last couple years now and in this his final year its reached an almost fever pitch. Jimmer pours in points from anywhere on the court. He often hoists up shots that would make even the NBA 3 point line blush, and nails them.

Just last week another player of the year candidate, Kemba Walker from UConn, put in a magnificent game during the Big East tournament. Walker lit it up for 31 points and it surely seemed destined to be the performance of the day. That was until Jimmer stepped on the court later that night against New Mexico and scored 33 points….. in the first half. He would go on to pour in a career high 52 points that night and seems to just keep getting better and better.

This year’s NCAA tourney is set to be a big stage that Jimmer could use to further cement himself in college football lore. These hopes did seem to take a big hit though a few weeks ago when the extremely rule heavy BYU kicked 2nd leading scorer and leading rebounder Brandon Davies off the team. This happened because Davies was determined to have violated the school’s archaic “honor code”. What was his mortal sin to necessitate such a heavy reaction you might ask? The troubled Mr. Davies had the weak moral character to have consensual sex with his girlfriend, oh the horror. Of course even if they are bounced this year, Mr. Fredette already cemented himself in my book last year when he poured in 37 points, including 2 killer 3′s in double OT, to lead BYU over my beloved Florida Gators.

What I wanted to talk about today though was an interesting story by Jeff Eisenberg of Rivals.com entitled “Jimmermania has Even Reached the New York Prison System”. This story talks about how prison life seems to stop at a correctional facility in Wilton, NY whenever a BYU game happens to be on national TV. It might seem odd that a prison in upstate New York is so drawn to a player from a heavily religious college in Utah, that is until you delve into the rich history between the two.

Jimmer himself is from the area of the prison having been born and growing up in Glen Falls, NY. A town I had only heard of from my swept under the rug hippie days, as where Phish started their Halloween covering an album tradition with an masterful set of The Beatles White Album. This geographically tie though is not nearly enough for crimnals serving time to carry about some local player. Nope, these miscreants feel a much more personal tie.

Back in the Spring of 2007, Jimmer and his older brother joined a team of civilians that went into the prison to actually play games against the inmates. No doubt this had something to do with not only the mental, but the physical toughness that Fredette displays out there on the court. The fact that he was willing to go in there and take on that challenge earned him the respect of the inmates at Mount McGregor Correctional Facility.

According to Mount McGregor Recreational Director John Montgomery, the players can’t get enough of Jimmer. He says “The inmates vote on what they want to watch on TV each week, and of course, they want to watch Jimmer, if BYU’s on our local television, every dorm will have the game on. Every inmate will want to watch. They do have that connection to him. They think, ‘God, he was up here playing against us.”

Fredette of course vividly remembers his experiences playing at the prison. Everything from the armed guards standing around for protection, to the big mountain of liability paperwork he had to fill out, to the extreme by any standards trash talking he had to put up with. According to Fredette the experience was a great help to his game. “Obviously there are a lot more people in big arenas in college, but what they say to you doesn’t bother you because I heard pretty much everything in those prisons,” Fredette said. “I think that helped me get better at blocking the crowd out and just focusing on the game.”

While Jimmer hasn’t returned to the prison to play, his brother still goes occasionally and deals with a constant barrage of questions about how his little brother is doing. The inmates seem to be enthralled with the kid with the great shooting touch that wasn’t scared to enter their world. So while your sitting on your comfortable couch at home watching Jimmer put on the inevitable show later this week that has to be coming, just know that up in Wilton, NY there are cell blocks full of criminals cheering even louder for the silky smooth white kid from that Mormon college in Utah.

Like an ever increasing number of people around this country, I plucked down my $44.95 on Saturday night and sat down with some friends to enjoy an exciting night of high intensity UFC action. Sure, St. Pierre went out and dominated Hardy, pretty much as I expected him to do but the exact manner of the fight was something that I don’t think a lot of people expected. Dan Hardy showed a tremendous amount of heart and determination and I think the long term benefits of this loss are going to be tremendous for him.

Before the fight on Saturday I think it was a very safe bet to say that most people didn’t like Dan Hardy. He’s an easy guy not to like. He’s brash, arrogant, and English; that’s 3 strikes against him for most people. With his trademark red mohawk and red contact lenses he’s like the Dennis Rodman of UFC, except without the teddy bear like quality that Rodman possesses. With Hardy its either you love him, or you hate him. Its also a safe bet that a whole lot more people were on the hate side of that equation.

For his walk in Hardy goes with the song “England Belongs to Me” by the British punk band Cock Sparrer. It’s a good choice I think, but the song itself simply wasn’t enough for Mr. Hardy. He chose to have the band rerecord the song with him in it accompanying them on vocals. That just epitomizes Dan Hardy to a T, always looking for something extra. His walk in was met by loud cheers from his loyal supporters as well as a smattering of boos by his less vocal detractors.

Hardy did indeed get dominated by St. Pierre, after all St. Pierre is arguably either the best or the 2^nd best pound for pound fighter going in the UFC right now. The other would have to be Anderson Silva and I of course would give my left nut to see either of them change weight classes to fight the other, that fight would be epic. Hardy though refused to give up in the fight. It looked like St. Pierre had him multiple times, yet Hardy refused to tap out. After the fight Hardy would say that the word tap isn’t even a part of his vocabulary. It looked at times that St. Pierre was about to break the Englishman’s arm, and I’m convinced that’s what it would’ve taken to stop this fight. That arm though would not break.

When people think of cocky arrogant people, the idea of heart never really comes up much in the conversation. However in Hardy’s case its all anyone was talking about after the fight. St. Pierre may have totally dominated the fight, but post fight everyone was talking about Dan Hardy’s performance.

This is going to go a long way for Hardy I think. He gained a whole lot of both respect and fans with his performance on Saturday night. The fans he gained were people that had been some of his biggest detractors before the fight. Sure Hardy’s ego may have taken an initial blow from the loss, but he’s certainly going to emerge a stronger more dedicated fighter from it. I think when we look to this fight in the future were going to see it as the turning point in Dan Hardy’s career. He gained more from this loss than the 7 consecutive wins he had going into it.

St. Pierre may have given Hardy a technical lesson out there in the octagon, but the long term benefits of this loss are going to be priceless to Mr. Hardy. Not only did he sway public opinion about him, but he also has in his mind the fact that he refused to give up when the going got tough. I don’t think there is anyone out there that’s ever going to have Dan Hardy in worse positions than he was in Saturday night. There is no way that UFC commissioner Dana White could not have been impressed.

So, keep your eye on Dan Hardy, one thing that’s for certain is that he will be back and he’ll be stronger and even more committed. That’s certainly a dangerous thing and I don’t think anyone is going to want to be the man standing in Dan Hardy’s way next time. I would not be surprised to see Dan Hardy as the welterweight champion two years from now. One things for certain, no one can question his heart.

Now Florida which has dominated the polls since the start of the season did see their run atop the AP poll come to an end. After their lackluster performance against a highly underrated Arkansas team, enough of the AP voters determined that Alabama had been more impressive so far. That pushed Bama up to the #1 spot in the AP poll. Ironically that happened on the day that the AP poll really lost any signifigance as our first BCS standings of the year came out. The BCS has Florida at #1 and Alabama at #2. What we can gather here is that the national consensus is easily that Florida and Alabama are the two best teams in the country. Easy there Texas fans, I’ll get to ya’all.

The tricky thing is that Alabama and Florida both play in SEC conference. Now they don’t meet during the regular season this year, as each team has one team they play from the other division every year and the other two spots rotate. All signs however, most certainly point to Alabama and Florida meeting up in the SEC Championship game at the end of the year. Last year Alabama and Florida were #1 and #2 going into the SEC Championship game as well, which Florida won on their way to an eventual National Championship. The difference this year though is that its highly likely that both teams could reach that game with both being undefeated.

When their both undefeated, that would make the BCS Championship game scenarios extremely interesting. If that scenario happens, I don’t see any reason why what might seem unthinkable could very well happen. The same game might be played again for the BCS National Championship game. I’m assuming here that Texas is going to lose a game at some point. I haven’t been impressed with Texas very much and I just don’t see them making it all the way. If Texas goes undefeated then this point becomes mute, I’ll give you that Texas fans, but let’s just assume here that Texas loses a game.

That would mean that after the SEC Championship game is played, you have the winner sitting there at undefeated and a shoe in for the National Championship game. Now for the other spot how could you not put an SEC team with one loss, with that one loss being to the #1 team in the country, into the BCS #2 slot. Who could possibly trump a one loss SEC team… a one loss Texas team I don’t think so as the Big 12 is certainly down this year….. a one loss USC out of the PAC 10 with their one loss being to an unranked Washington team…. Boise St. could very well be undefeated, but I don’t see them being ahead of any of those teams. All signs would point to them just replaying the two best teams in the country again.

Some people might have a problem with this, in fact I know they will and I can see how they might. When you break it down though its really the only possible solution. Take away any negative notion about playing the same game again, and its really the only acceptable solution.

The crazy thing is that at that point you might even be better off losing the SEC Championship game then winning it. We all know how hard it is to beat the same team twice in the same season. In those types of rematches the advantage is often with the loser of the first game. Now I know that neither team would take that into account when their playing in the SEC Championship game, there’s too much uncertainty involved.

If we really want to see the two best teams play it out for the National Championship, this is looking like the way its going to have to be. I’m not saying that either team might not have a hiccup along the way, after all the SEC is a war week in and week out. Neither of them are playing in the Big 10 or anything of course. If the scenario plays itself out though, I see no reason not to repeat the game. From what we’ve seen so far Alabama and Florida are the two best teams in college football. Their led by the two best coaches in college football in Urban Meyer and Nick Saban. The whole scenario is just nice. fact… their so nice, let’s do it twice.

From the fact that Tiger Woods won it, I’m sure that you can figure out that its some sort of golfing event. Either that or a contest to determine the whitest black man on the planet, but I doubt that a company like Fed-Ex would sponsor something like that, perhaps Brooks Brothers but not Fed-Ex. Anyway, its basically the championship of the PGA. Points are accumulated for your finishing places in tournaments during the whole year, but then there is what amounts to a playoff for the final four events. The top 125 golfers make it into the “playoffs” and are seeded accordingly, with then the most productive person being declared the PGA champion after the 4 events.

This ridiculous thing is golf’s attempt at having an exciting chase to the championship similar to what you see in Nascar. Unfortunately for the PGA, it doesn’t really work. What kind of  a playoff can you have anyway when you have 125 golfers eligible. I mean come on, the NBA and NHL take a whole lot of heat for having 16 of their teams make the playoffs each year.

Also, can it be any coincidence that the Fed-Ex cup lasts for four weeks and ends on the same Sunday that is week 3 of the NFL season. Golf can’t honestly expect to compete with the NFL on Sunday, but this is their pathetic way of trying. By having that first “playoff” event before the NFL season starts, the PGA is hoping to sink the hook into people so much that their going to blow off the NFL in favor of watching Golf on Sunday’s for awhile. That is simply crazy talk and never going to happen.

At least it never should happen. This weekend I came home to one of my roommates actually watching Golf instead of football. I thought I had stepped into some parallel universe. Now I’m a golf fan, I enjoy playing it a whole lot and do enjoy watching it. There’s just no way when football is on. If golf is really that much concerned with TV ratings, then their going to have just install lights and have all their events on prime time during the week because here in America, football rules the day during the weekends.

Getting back to this ridiculous farce, on Sunday Phil Mickelson won the final event of the year which is ironically called The Tour Championship, while Tiger Woods walked away with The Fed-Ex Cup which is supposed to be awarded to the champion of the tour for the year. Hmmm, is that a little bit confusing to anyone else. Now for his trouble Tiger Woods did walk away with a very big check for $10 million dollars for his trouble, while Phil Mickelson the winner that day got a check for less than a third of that number. Something just doesn’t seem right about that.

Golf will always be an individual sport that is about winning individual events. This whole Fed-Ex Cup thing is ludicrous and a horrible idea. In Nascar’s Chase for the Cup for instance, a driver might play it safe during a race and not take chance going for the win because he knows that the points accumulate and the championship is the thing that really matters. That’s not the case in golf. There is no way that someone is going to lay up on the 18th instead of going for the hole to try and preserve their spot in the Fed-Ex Cup. That’s just not the way the game is played, and I’m glad its not.

I think the PGA recognizes that this thing has failed and I hope they pull the plug on it soon. The Fed-Ex Cup was only introduced in 2007 and they have already adjusted the rules and point scoring setup every single year since its introduction. Their trying to tinker with the thing and make it work rather than just give it the proper burial that it deserves. From their standpoint its pretty much win win because they get to sell Fed-Ex the naming rights for something that’s pretty much invented out of thin air. However its gotten to the point that its distracting and taking away from the true nature of the game. Phil Mickelson was the winner on Sunday after playing some excellent golf, yet his thunder and accolade was stolen by Mr. Tiger Woods and his mythical Fed-Ex championship, that’s a dam shame.

This pedestrian was 59 year old Mario Reyes, a crane operator who was just getting off work and trying to catch the bus. Stallworth ended up being legally drunk at the time, and got charged with DUI manslaughter. He was found guilty and sentenced to 30 days in jail. On top of this he got two years of house arrest, 8 years of probation and some other restrictions.

Now I know that I’m not the only one that thinks this sentence was extremely light. The craziest thing was that is was right around the time that Michael Vick was finishing up his sentence. Here was Michael Vick who served 18 months for fighting dogs, while Donte Stallworth only got 30 days for being drunk and killing someone. That means that fighting dogs must be 18 times as bad as killing an actual person. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big time dog lover, but I’m also fairly found of the human species as well. Actually that’s a lie, I think about 85 – 90 percent of humans are complete worthless. I however, do think even the most worthless among us deserves the right to live.

Donte Stallworth is in the news once again now, because he was looking for a special exemption to his house arrest that would allow him to go train for his return to football. As of now Stallworth is suspended indefinitely, but he is still officially on Cleveland’s roster. If you go by the 18 times standard from earlier, than Stallworth should be eligible to play again in about a month.

Stallworth’s petition to be able to train was granted. Despite the prosecutor’s objections. “The fact is that he’s presently not formally employed by the NFL,” said prosecutor Patrick Trese, who objected to the motion. “And absent him being formally employed by the NFL, he’s not in a position where I think it’s necessary for him to worry about those types of issues.” Now Stallworth will be allowed to leave his home 5 days a week to go work out at the local high school. I’m sure that Stallworth has a gym in his multi million dollar home, but I guess he needs the extra space to be able to run routes and catch balls.

It seems like Stallworth is getting treated like a diva here. He’s not even playing football right now, I think working out in a gym will be plenty to keep him into shape in order for him to one day return to the NFL. To get back to Vick, he was stuck in jail and he seems to be in playing shape just fine. I think it would be a whole lot easier for Stallworth at home.

I also should say that I have had a DUI conviction in my life. Thank god, I didn’t kill anyone, but it very well could have happened. Stallworth gave a blood alcohol reading of .126 at the time of the accident, mine was .225. Florida’s legal limit is .08. I don’t really remember anything about what happened. So that might make you think that I would lean easily on people that got DUI’s. However, this situation is just out of hand. I was lucky, I didn’t kill anyone. Mr. Stallworth wasn’t so lucky, and now he has to take responsibility for those actions.

His responsiblity it seems is that its going to be a major inconvience to his life and his pocketbook. He has expressed regret, but he does have a PR team and an agent coaching him on what he should say, so who knows how much of that is really sincere.

Stallworth said “If I ever so much as take a sip of alcohol and I get behind the wheel and drive after what had happened on March 14, I would be spitting on Mr. Reyes’ grave.” You would think this might scare him off drinking forever, but that isn’t the case as I gather from that statement. He’ll just remember to have a limo whenever he goes out drinking from now on.

It all started in the 7th inning when Manny Ramirez was hit by a pitch while the Dodgers had a nine run lead. Ramirez had an impressive game, breaking the longest RBI drought of his career with a HR and then also added a 2 run double.

In retaliation for the play with Ramirez, Dodgers reliever Guillermo Mota plunked Brewers slugger Prince Fielder in the 9th with 2 outs and the Dodgers very much in command. This is a routine that has been around since the dawn of baseball. You hit one of ours and we’re going to hit one of yours. When you hit our top dog, we’re going to come after your top dog.

Last year in the playoffs, Ramirez got hit and the Dodgers took a whole lot of flack for not retaliating. You could be sure that when it happened this year, something was going to happen. You have to have your star players back, its as simple as that.

Mota was ejected as you can expect. Mota turned and started walking to the dugout immediately after the pitch, he knows the routine. What made this extraordinary, was Prince Fielder’s reaction. He started going off. After the final out was made he was still yelling and started walking towards the Dodger dugout. He was restrained by teammates, but it still didn’t end there. After the game, Fielder went storming through the tunnels underneath the stadium trying to get to the Dodgers clubhouse. He made it to the set of doors that lead down a hallway to the clubhouse, but security didn’t enable him to proceed any farther.

I don’t know what Fielder was trying to prove, but his reaction was just insane. It wasn’t as if Mota was headhunting or anything, he hit Fielder in the thigh. If you don’t know what Prince Fielder looks like, let me assure you that it is quite a mighty thigh. Prince is the son of former MLB player Cecil Fielder and is built the same way. Hitting him in the thigh is like throwing a ball into a couch. I mean come on, the guy’s thigh is about the size of Delaware.

Another interesting aspect of this incident, is that Mota and Fielder were teammates on the Brewers last year. Maybe its all an inside joke between friends that none of us civilians gets. They sure seemed anything but friendly last night.

I think that maybe Fielder was just trying to light a fire under the Brewer’s ass. If this was his intention then that is perfectly fine. Ham it up as much as you want. The Brewers have been disappointing so far this season. After making the playoffs last year, more was expected from a team that currently sits third in their division and 5 games out of 1st place. I don’t really think more should have been expected though, after all C.C. Sabathia basically put this team on his back and led them to the playoffs on sure will last year.

On the other hand if Fielder was honestly that upset, he needs to grow up. This is baseball and that’s just a part of the game. The score doesn’t matter at that point. Its debatable whether the Brewers were throwing at Manny or not, I’d say probably not, but with the situation that happened in last year’s playoffs the Dodgers weren’t going to be taking any chances. I can imagine they would have been crucified in the papers today in LA if they had let Manny get hit again with no response.

It should be interesting to see what happens tonight, but I don’t think it really should be anything. Its part of the game and the teams should just move on. I sincerely hope that Prince was trying to provide a spark to a team after a lifeless effort. If not I can tell him to grow a set of balls you big pussy. It does seem like the biggest guys are the biggest crybabies a lot of the time. Grow up Mr. Fielder were not going to be treating you any different than any other star player. It’s not like your the spoiled King’s son, are you…Prince?

NASCAR has been inching its way into mainstream America for quite a long time now. Everyone enjoyed Days of Thunder with Tom Cruise back in the day and I think that was the real start of it. There’s still a long way to go though for NASCAR. That doesn’t mean its not hugely popular, as it is. That however is due to the fact that the people who are into it are extremely devout. Its still not mainstream America I don’t think. It still suffers from some geographically slanted demographics, even though there are races all over. I see people at the races in Delaware and Watkins Glen, but I still have never found someone from the Northeast that will, openly at least, admit to being a NASCAR fan.

That being said, I have heard some of the diehard NASCAR fans rumblings that it is selling out. They say that the boys are toning things down to appeal to corporate and mainstream America. Well thank god for Jeremy Mayfield then, because I don’t think anyone is gonna be thinking that NASCAR is not redneck enough for quite awhile.

For those unfamiliar with Mr. Mayfield’s saga, let me explain. Mayfield is I’d say a middle of the road NASCAR driver, he’s very competitive and has won a few races. He’s not a star, but he’s certainly no slouch either. In May of this year, Mayfield failed a NASCAR drug test for crystal meth. He was then suspended for substance abuse as per NASCAR rules. Mayfield however, adamantly denied ever using the drug claiming that the false positive must have been from a combination of Claritin and Adderall that he had taken. Mayfield then took the NASCAR brass to court. There he won an injunction in federal court that lifted the suspension. NASCAR has since countered with an appeal that brings a whole lot of other things to light.

According to NASCAR, Mayfield has also failed a July 6th test given to him at his home. Once again for crystal meth. This time though NASCAR took it up a notch by also bring to the table a sworn affidavit from Mayfield’s stepmother where she claims to have seen him use meth at least 30 times. She also claims that Mayfield used to cook meth in the shop by his house. Here’s what his stepmother had to say…

“I first saw Jeremy using methamphetamine in 1998 at Jeremy’s shop on Jackson Road in Mooresville, North Carolina. Jeremy cooked some of his own methamphetamine in his shop by the house until the stores took pseudoephedrine off the shelves. In addition to making methamphetamine for his own use, I am aware that Jeremy has bought methamphetamine from others.”

“I was concerned about his heavy use and talked to his father about it. I saw Jeremy use methamphetamine by snorting it up his nose at least 30 times during the seven years I was around him. Jeremy used methamphetamines not only in my presence, but also when we were both in the presence of others.

She also brought up some specific instances where she had seen him use the drug. Including before the NASCAR Awards ceremony and just before a race in Darlington.

Mayfield of course then countered with these courteous statement…

“Now they got this lying whore to tell lies about me, someone I am embarrassed even uses the Mayfield name. She’s tried everything she can do to get money out of me. I won’t help her, so I guess she found a way to get money from NASCAR by giving them an affidavit full of lies.”

Now as if that isn’t Jerry Springer enough for you. Mayfield has also come out and accussed his stepmother of killing his father. His father’s died in 2007 by what the Chapel Hill, NC medical examiner determined was a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Mayfield now says he plans on serving his stepmother with a wrongful death lawsuit as well. He also claims that Nascar can not be trusted and that they paid his stepmother to concoct this lies, which her gold-digging ass gratefully agreed to.

This shit just gets crazier and crazier by the day, and I fucking love it. Its like that crazy girl in Wedding Crashers that Vince Vaughn falls for. Now this is definitely not the kind of story that you see in a “mainstream” sport. Can you imagine something like this happening in baseball or football. No way. That’s kinda what makes NASCAR so great though. NASCAR was never meant to be a grandfather, its a crazy uncle and it should be proud to be that. Everyone loves a crazy uncle after all.

Either Jeremy Mayfield is right and NASCAR is just completely railroading him for some unknown reason, or he’s just a complete drug addict dumbass. I mean come on, if he had really failed the first test due to taking a combination of Claritin and Adderall, then how on earth would he take that again before the 2nd test. Now he’s coming out with all these conspiracies theories and accusations of covered up murders, it’s just classic tweaker behavior. I think the guy is a complete meth addict and needs some serious help. He’s not going to get it though, cause I think he’s in way too deep at this point to admit that this whole thing is a lie. His NASCAR career at this point is basically done, no team or sponsor is ever going to touch this guy with a ten foot pole. Part of me feels sorry for the guy, but part of me just hope he comes out with something crazier every day. How about tomorrow if he says that he was abducted by aliens who forced him to snort meth as a way of preparation for the anal probe. That would be classic! I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

What I want to talk about today though is our university president Bernie Machen and his crusade to curb alcohol abuse at anything associated with the university. Now I used to have a major alcohol problem, and consequently I don’t drink anymore, but I think the majority of people can just fine. I don’t condone drinking during class like I used to do or anything, but a football game is a whole  other story.

Mr. Machen’s  latest pet project is to try to cut back on alcohol at the Florida vs Georgia game. Now this is a game that is known as “The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party” and for good reason. A few years ago they asked the TV stations to stop using that nickname, but your not gonna wipe out years of history and an ingrained nickname with the fans. It most certainly is still “The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party.”

The reason the game got that nickname is of course for the tremendous amounts of alcohol consumed by fans before, during, and after the game. Not to say that is really any different than any other football game at UF, but here they are actually allowed to sell alcohol inside the stadium as its not located on a college campus and rather played at a nuetral site in Jacksonville. Although that didn’t really change anything for me when I went. I’d still rather smuggle in a couple of ziplocs filled with bourbon rather than pay those ridiculous prices.

In a letter to the mayor of Jacksonville, Bern the Worm requested that the number of locations selling alcohol inside the stadium be cut in half. This isn’t really that unreasonable, but I don’t think it would really have any effect. The only thing that would cause would be longer lines and cause people to miss more of the game. The best way I’d think to satisfy Mr. Machen here would be to cut the # of locations in half, but just make those locations larger and able to serve more people. See, we can all win.

Machen’s 2nd request though is the one that is just insane. He wants the city to ban all shot sales at Jacksonville Landing bars and restaurants. This is just crazy. Your going to go and tell these business owners that they can’t sell any shots on their busiest weekend of the year. That’s pure and simple crazy talk, and you can go sell it somewhere else. This is America and we should have a right to drink our booze in whatever form we wish. If this crazy rule was adopted it wouldn’t have any effect either. If bar owners are anything, its inventive. They would surely find ways to make drinks that are just as strong and get you just as drunk without it being in shot form. Hey, since shots are banned I guess I’ll just have to buy a whole glass of Jager instead. Cheers Bernie!

This is just so typical of the way things have been heading in recent times. Since a couple of years ago when “binge drinking” became a big buzz word among administrators, all sorts of plans have been made to try and curb this massive problem. Though all their doing is making different kinds of problems. This is SEC football at its finest and with that is always going to come a whole lot of drinking. That’s just how we do football in the South.

I can remember that my first couple years at UF there was no 2am closing law and there was a lovely system called “halftime reentry”. Oh god how I loved that. What that meant was that at halftime you could run across the street to The Purple Porpoise or The Swamp, where the lovely bartenders would already have shots lined up and waiting, down a few (or ten in my case) shots and then run back to the stadium and not miss a snap. Now I don’t really have any stats to back this up, but I swear in those times we’d always come out and play huge right at the start of the third quarter. I swear the team fed off the crowd’s increased drunkenness. Now sadly this is no longer allowed during halftime.

We didn’t win the halftime reentry battle, but we can’t lose the cocktail party as well. That’s what Florida vs Georgia is all about and who the hell is Bernie Machen to mess with all this tradition.

Now you know I couldn’t write all this without mentioning the Gators complete and utter dominance of Georgia in recent times. Since 1990 the Gators are an amazing 16-3 in this “rivalry” game. Its even been sweeter since that idiot Mark Richt took over the Georgia program as I really can’t stand that dumbass.

My personal favorite cocktail party that I attended was in 2002. In that game the Dawgs came in rolling at a perfect 8-0 and ranked #4 in the country. My Gators on the other hand were struggling. Spurrier had left and we limped into this game at 5-3 and unranked. Needless to say, Georgia was a fairly solid favorite. Georgia scored first then we answered with a TD pass from my boy Rex Grossman. Gus Scott later added a tremendous interception return for a TD, but we missed the extra point and trailed by that extra point 13-12 in the 4th quarter. Rex than led the Gators on a drive for the ages. That drive ended with him hitting Ben Troupe on 3rd and goal for the go ahead score, Rex added the 2 point conversion himself for a 20-13 lead. Our defense held and that’s how the game ended. Georgia came in riding high and we snuffed their National Championship hopes. They did go on to win the SEC title that year, but they got no further. Hey, if we weren’t gonna have a great year, at least we got to ruin theirs.