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Tag-Archive for "Donte Stallworth jail term"

Donte Stallworth Knows Killing People Can a Real Inconvenience Aug 11

Stallworth Pedestrian Killed FootballIf anyone doesn’t know the story of Donte Stallworth by now let me give you a quick recap. Its pretty simple really, he was speeding down the road in Miami Beach early one morning in his Bentley when he struck and killed a pedestrian.

This pedestrian was 59 year old Mario Reyes, a crane operator who was just getting off work and trying to catch the bus. Stallworth ended up being legally drunk at the time, and got charged with DUI manslaughter. He was found guilty and sentenced to 30 days in jail. On top of this he got two years of house arrest, 8 years of probation and some other restrictions.

Now I know that I’m not the only one that thinks this sentence was extremely light. The craziest thing was that is was right around the time that Michael Vick was finishing up his sentence. Here was Michael Vick who served 18 months for fighting dogs, while Donte Stallworth only got 30 days for being drunk and killing someone. That means that fighting dogs must be 18 times as bad as killing an actual person. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big time dog lover, but I’m also fairly found of the human species as well. Actually that’s a lie, I think about 85 – 90 percent of humans are complete worthless. I however, do think even the most worthless among us deserves the right to live.

Donte Stallworth is in the news once again now, because he was looking for a special exemption to his house arrest that would allow him to go train for his return to football. As of now Stallworth is suspended indefinitely, but he is still officially on Cleveland’s roster. If you go by the 18 times standard from earlier, than Stallworth should be eligible to play again in about a month.

Stallworth’s petition to be able to train was granted. Despite the prosecutor’s objections. “The fact is that he’s presently not formally employed by the NFL,” said prosecutor Patrick Trese, who objected to the motion. “And absent him being formally employed by the NFL, he’s not in a position where I think it’s necessary for him to worry about those types of issues.” Now Stallworth will be allowed to leave his home 5 days a week to go work out at the local high school. I’m sure that Stallworth has a gym in his multi million dollar home, but I guess he needs the extra space to be able to run routes and catch balls.

It seems like Stallworth is getting treated like a diva here. He’s not even playing football right now, I think working out in a gym will be plenty to keep him into shape in order for him to one day return to the NFL. To get back to Vick, he was stuck in jail and he seems to be in playing shape just fine. I think it would be a whole lot easier for Stallworth at home.

I also should say that I have had a DUI conviction in my life. Thank god, I didn’t kill anyone, but it very well could have happened. Stallworth gave a blood alcohol reading of .126 at the time of the accident, mine was .225. Florida’s legal limit is .08. I don’t really remember anything about what happened. So that might make you think that I would lean easily on people that got DUI’s. However, this situation is just out of hand. I was lucky, I didn’t kill anyone. Mr. Stallworth wasn’t so lucky, and now he has to take responsibility for those actions.

His responsiblity it seems is that its going to be a major inconvience to his life and his pocketbook. He has expressed regret, but he does have a PR team and an agent coaching him on what he should say, so who knows how much of that is really sincere.

Stallworth said “If I ever so much as take a sip of alcohol and I get behind the wheel and drive after what had happened on March 14, I would be spitting on Mr. Reyes’ grave.” You would think this might scare him off drinking forever, but that isn’t the case as I gather from that statement. He’ll just remember to have a limo whenever he goes out drinking from now on.

What's More American than Blowing Shit Up? Jul 04

fireworks_portrait_lsFirst off let me start off by wishing everyone a Happy 4th of July, that means you loyal reader as well as you jealous cockblocking hater. Every 4th of July this issue comes up, does anyone know that fireworks are illegal in Palm Beach Country. Yup, our unAmerican lawmakers have banned our right to celebrate in the most patriotic of fashion by making things go boom.

If there’s something more American than blowing stuff up, I have yet to find it. Yet our wise bueracrats here decided that in order to protect us from ourselves and our drunken trailer trash neighbors, the only legal fireworks are things such as sparklers. Even your common bottle rocket is banned.

You might ask than why do I see countless firework stands when I drive down the road? If you happen to go into any of those stands, I like the big tent on Northlake ironically in the Blood Bank parking lot, you will notice that after you purchase your glorious items they make you sign a piece of paper.

That piece of paper your signing is a waiver. What it says is that you are intending to use the fireworks for one of the “legal” purpose. These “legal” purposes include using them to scare birds from crops, quarry stone, or as a railroad signal. Now I’m sure that’s what all these people are using them for, a know I saw a huge group of birds circling my coconut crop this morning.

All the waiver does is make the store not responsible for the “illegal” acts that you fully intend to commit. They can claim ignorance. Its funny though that they need you to sign a waiver, while you can walk into any head shop and buy a 6 foot bong and its just assumed that its going to be for tobacco use.

If you are caught with your precious fireworks this year, it is considered a first degree misdemeanor and is punishable by up to a $1,000 fine and up to a year in jail. They have got to be kidding with that whole year in a jail thing, remember that Donte Stallworth only got 30 days for DUI manslaughter.

I doubt that a whole lot of people are going to be enforcing it. Palm Beach Country Sheriff’s Office spokesman Ed Davis kinda summed up their n9nchalant attitude towards it when he said ““One thing about fireworks, when they go off, so does the evidence.”

There are some communities though that are trying to crack down on it. Loxahatchee Groves for instance has vowed to enforce the law and has even allocated funds specifically target to weed out this dangerous criminal element from their town.

I say its all in good fun so just relax all you uptight lawmakers. Sure people get hurt with fireworks but they do with anything that’s fun. I think more people get hurt in boating accidents every year than fireworks accidents, so lets go ahead and ban boating too. Its also ridiculous to let these store owners operate their way around the law and then even think about cracking down on people for shooting off their fireworks. Its like leaving the drug dealers alone and making only possession a crime.

So I say blow things up all night, blow things up all weekend. If your not blowing things up yourself, go seek out some people that are. It would be unAmerican not to.