Now when it comes down to picking your favorite holiday, it’s certainly a tough choice. Everyone has it’s own pros and cons. Your favorite changes too as you grow older. When your a kid, of course your favorite is going to be Christmas. That one’s a no brainer for little kids. You get a whole lot of gifts and that’s hard to beat. I think all kids are selfish and materialistic at heart so they love that one.
As you get older though you realize that Christmas actually isn’t that great. I don’t know exactly when the point is, but eventually you are expected to actually get gifts for other people too. I always seem to come out on the short end of Christmas these days. I of course get people awesome, thoughtful things and then I just end up with a bunch of shitty socks and sweaters. It’s really a waste. Instead of everyone taking their money and just buying things they want, we’re instead forced to try and pick things out for other people and pray to god that they either pick out equally good or equally shitty stuff for us. It sucks when you pick out something awesome for somebody and then get a crap gift in return. It’s equally sucky when you pick something crappy for someone and then they go out and get you something that’s just awesome. It’s really hard to achieve mutual symmetry in gift giving. It’s like achieving orgasm at the same time, it can happen but it’s a long shot and you’d probably both be better off taking care of yourselves.
Thanksgiving is a holiday that I dreaded when I was a little kid. First off there’s no gifts and I was never a big fan of Turkey. I’m still not that big on Thanksgiving, but at least it’s bearable. Everyone just gets together to pig out and then lays around on the couch half asleep watching football. Nothing too exciting, but its low stress and that’s nothing to sneeze at these days.
New Year’s is pretty cool when you get older and can enjoy some nice drunken revelry, but it never really did it for me. I guess cause I was too much of an alcoholic and drug addict to really appreciate it. New Year’s is just like amateur hour out there as people that aren’t used to it party their asses off. To someone like me, it might as well be a Tuesday night. So all New Years meant was it being more crowded and things being more expensive, two things I can do without.
These days my favorite holiday has to be Halloween. It’s really the only holiday that everyone can appreciate. When your a little kid it rocks cause you just get to stroll around house to house and people just give you candy. You don’t even have to do anything, you just knock, say trick or treat, and bang…. candy. It doesn’t work any other day of the year. Your expected to wear a costume of some sort, but that can really be anything. In fact I think a shitty costume even works better cause then they just think your too poor to afford a good costume so they feel sorry for you and give you even more candy. Ah, look at that poor kid, he can’t even afford a mask, well, it’ll be all right, go drown your sorrows in some mini Butterfingers.
I remember one year for Halloween when I was in 5th grade or thereabouts, I actually went as a drug dealer. I put on these black cargo pants, an LA Lakers Magic Johnson shirt, some gold chains, and some sunglasses. I guess that was my idea of drug dealer wear back then. I then went and filled a bunch of zip-loc bags with sugar. Its funny that no one could tell that I might not be headed down the straight arrow path.
The great thing about Halloween is that it doesn’t lose its appeal as you get older like a lot of the other holidays do. I still absolutely love Halloween. Albeit for different reasons now. The reason I love Halloween now is because it gives girls an excuse to dress like complete sluts and call it a costume. Even the most normal conservative girl lets it all hang out on Halloween. You don’t even need a costume, you can just do straight up slut. However, if you want to really get in the dress up spirit your options are endless. There’s slutty nurse, slutty policewoman, slutty doctor, slutty schoolgirl, slutty teacher, slutty sailor, slutty football ref, slutty golfer…. the world is your oyster girls.
In case you haven’t noticed you just take slutty and put it in front of anything and it’s a great costume for Halloween. I mean come on, how can anyone not love a holiday like that. It’s coming up in a week and I can’t wait. Its really the best party to have because its your best chance at having a house full of sluts, and really isn’t that the point of any party. Girls can even forget all their worries and inhibitions too, after all they are just playing a role. So go ahead and throw a Halloween party and watch the amazing parade of sluts in “costumes” some rolling on through. The only way you could have a better collection is if you decided to throw a Rock of Love theme party. Save that one for November!