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The Great Yard Sale Experiment Mar 27

Garage-Sale-1Well it certainly has been awhile since my last post on here, but I can assure you that I am very much still alive. It’s just been a hectic last couple months. I’ve been emotionally, physically, and creatively spent, but am hoping to get back on this horse and ensure that my loyal readers yes both of you, get their Go Sell Crazy fix.

Today I went out on my most recent in a long line of money making ideas; I call them that although some might use the word schemes. The latest plan was that I figured that knowing a lot about books I could prey on the unsuspecting people and find first editions at yard sales around town which I could later sell on the internet for some big money. My dream was to find some poor unsuspecting little old ladies or people not thinking clearly due to having to deal with the grief of their loved one having recently passed away and leaving them scrambling for money for the burial. If I could only find some great people like this to prey on I figured I’d be set.

So I browsed through Craigslist and found some yard sales in the area and set off at the crack of dawn with my GPS and a pocketful of cash hoping to turn it into even bigger pockets full of more cash. I said a prayer of course asking God to help me guide me in my quest to rid these pathetic saps of the goldmines their sitting on. My roommate decided to accompany me on this great journey, although he used the term “treasure hunting” which it turned out would be very sarcastically prophetic.

yardsale300x325Unfortunately, things did not go exactly according to plan. It turns out that when people are having yard sales the majority of shit their selling is just complete garbage. Now you might find some nice furniture or something like that, but all the smaller items are just pure and simple junk. They did have some books, but the kinds of people throwing these sales are not exactly what we call the literary elite. The books they had were complete garbage. The mission was an utter failure.

I ended up going to about 8 different garage sales, and made one purchase. I am happy with my purchase, but it was not a literary masterpiece or even a book. The one item, or shall I say items, that tickled my fancy was seasons 2 and 3 of The Simple Life on DVD with my #1 girl Paris Hilton. The lady was looking for 2 bucks a piece for them, but I managed to walk away with both for a measly dollar. A killer score that I was able to procure due to my amazing negotiating skills. I knew that degree from UF had to be good for something. It is worth noting that she had season 1 as well, but I already had that one.

mini-skirt2There also was one really hot chick running a yard sale. She was a brunette which was strike #1, but she had on a really short skirt with nice tits showing plenty of cleavage and these beautiful green eyes. Strike #2 was the fact that she was a big time dyke. I came to that determination based on the fact that she wasn’t all over me like most girls are.

For those who don’t know the term yard sale, comes from the Latin yardisius saliunium, which stands for a bunch of people trying to get beer money by unloading their junk on other people. I even have the sneaking suspicion that before somebody has a yard sale they go around to other yard sales to find stuff to sell. So in essence the same junk just circulates around from yard sale to yard sale.

At the mission debriefing after I got home, I had to chalk it up as basically a failure. Although I still think there is money to be made fleecing out stupid people from the stuff they don’t know is worth money. Alas, today it did not come to fruition. There will be a next time though, and hopefully God will put some idiots out there for me to exploit. At least I’ll be praying for it.