I found a pretty interesting article in the Palm Beach Post, which is my local paper down here in lovely Palm Beach County. Their known for their hard hitting investigative exposes as well as award winning nautical interior design section. Anyway, in the article so cleverly titled “Nearly 80 Sex Offenders Scratch Out a Living Under Miami’s Julia Tuttle Causeway”….uh, I guess the title pretty much tells you what they talked about.

It’s shocking to me though that under just one bridge in the city of Miami we have over 80 sex offenders living. That is definitely a place you wanna tell your kids to stay away from. Although if their anything like me maybe you should tell them to go there. I know that when I was a kid, I went anywhere I was told not to go and stayed the hell away from anyone the “grownups” told me I should be.

I do give props to the writer John Lantigua for having the balls to write a human interest story about a bunch of people nobody cares about.

The man living under the bridge, Javier, is 69 and tattoos of shapely, young women adorn his arms and torso.

The tattoos might be just early excesses, the faded daydreams of a young sailor. But when you know why he lives there, they become symbols – foreboding predictions – of his problems.

Javier is one of almost 80 sex offenders living like castaways beneath the Julia Tuttle Causeway, which connects Miami to Miami Beach across Biscayne Bay. He says he was convicted 17 years ago of sexual contact with a girl, 13.

The offenders are exiled under the six-lane overpass because a 2005 Miami Dade ordinance prohibits people convicted of sex crimes involving minors from living within 2,500 feet of schools, playgrounds, or, in some cases, school bus stops.

To me that law doesn’t mean that they have to live under a bridge in downtown Miami. It means that they can’t live in a major urban area. Go move out to the country you sick fucks. Take a clue, we don’t want you living where all our “normal” people live. To me it just seems like these dam pervs have found a loophole where they get to stay in the city of Miami and live under this bridge. There are plenty of areas west of the city where they won’t be violating the 2500 feet law.

Now I must admit that there are some people who I feel bad for that are forced to register as sex offenders. I don’t think the 18 year old high school senior that has sex with his freshman girlfriend really did anything wrong, but I also doubt that most of these guys fall under that category. The Javier mentioned in the piece is registered because he molested a 13 year old girl, he deserves whatever he’s got coming to him.

There’s a quote in there from Armando Martinez where he says “Terrorists, members of al Qaeda, live better at Guantanamo than we do.” I seriously doubt that to be true. I think the perv has just seen “Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay” a few too many times, and would actually enjoy the cock meat sandwich. Armando is registered for an attempted sexual battery on a child. That makes him a double loser in my book, he couldn’t even successful complete his sick shit. Guy’s probably never saw anything through in his life. He deserves to live under a bridge.

I especially liked this line, “Almost all residents are men, although sometimes girlfriends sleep over.” Oh my god, imagine what prizes those girls must be. Not only are you spending the night with a registered sex offender, but he also lives under the bridge. I think even hookers would have to pass on that.

All I can say though is valiant effort Mr. Lantigua, but if you think I’m gonna be shedding a tear for the awful plight of a bunch of sexual predators, then you sure as hell can go sell crazy someplace else. Maybe some of these guys have reformed and are living on the straight and narrower, so what’s stopping them from moving out into the sticks where they wouldn’t violate the laws. I’m sure they’d say there aren’t many job opportunities out there, then ask them how many have jobs or are even looking for work. I’m sure the number wouldn’t be very high. I’m sure these are the guys that are just out panhandling every day to make enough money to drink themselves into oblivion. So I know I won’t be shedding any tears for them, and I’m sure I’ll sleep just fine tonight.